Showing posts with label Nellie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nellie. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Vale Nellie

Vale Don Nelson. Sanity, for once, has won out as the NBA's winningest coach finally rides off into the sunset followed by a battery of short, athletic ballers.

Nelson was removed recently for the second time as coach of the Golden State Warriors after a crazy year even by his standards. Not long ago, we thought Nelson was zany enough to be one of those rare sporting identities deserving of their own sitcom but now after over 30 years of NBA coaching nearly nonstop he has finally been brought down by the forces of conformity that now run the League.

Don Nelson started NBA life being drafted by the Chicago Zephyrs in 1962. A 6'7 forward from Iowa State, he then moved to the Los Angeles Lakers. Cut in 1966, Tom Heinsohn suggested to Celtic Godfather Red Auerbach to sign him as he'd always found him a difficult proposition – no matter that he sported an unusual tippy-toe jumper and the athleticism you'd expect of a paper bag stuffed with small rocks. Nelson joined Boston and automatically became a rotation player for a squad in the middle of their famed 11-titles-in-13 years. When the older brigade of Cousy, Heinsohn, Sam Jones and Russell retired, Nelson became a starter on the remodelled early-70s Celtics. After winning his fifth title as a player in 1976, he retired having ushered in another decade of Celtic success.

Deciding against a continued career as a referee, Nelson opted to become an assistant coach to Larry Costello at Milwaukee. After 18 games, Costello was dismissed and Nelson found himself in charge of another rebuilding team, this one headed by rookies Kent Benson, Marques Johnson and Ernie Grunfeld alongside vets Bobby Dandridge and Brian Winters. No matter how successful his playing career was, it is as a coach that we'll forever remember Don Nelson – indeed it was on the bench that the ... alternative Nellie was born.

Benson was the Bucks' centre and suddenly Don Nelson was shown a vision of the rest of his life – a team blessed with above-average wings but without the stud big man any team needs to win consistently. This is how we'll remember Nellie – as a coach who ran (and I mean ran) such a varied and spread offense and rarely was an effective big-man coach, mostly because he just didn't have the bigs to coach. In all probability his early-80s Milwaukee teams, replete with Sidney Moncrief, Terry Cummings and Bob Lanier were probably the best teams he had the chance to coach. It's no coincidence that they also made it the farthest into the postseason.

In his thirty-one years helming NBA franchises, the best centre Don Nelson had was Patrick Ewing. For 59 games in 1995-96. That was before he was fired for placing too much offensive emphasis on wings John Starks and Anthony Mason and not on the Knicks' franchise player. Other than Ewing he coached Dirk Nowitzki and Chris Webber in Dallas and Golden State respectively, but neither was at the peak of their careers. Bob Lanier, who Nellie had for five years in Milwaukee was at the end of his rope. He simply never had the quality big guys to play, so he coped without 'em and created a vastly different type of basketball reliant on the strengths of the players he had to work with: athleticism and shooting.

The result: Nellie-Ball, defined by the font of all knowledge (ie. Wikipedia – accurately in this case though) as an unconventional, fast-paced offense designed by coach Don Nelson. Nellie-Ball relied on smaller, athletic players able to create mismatches by their sheer speed. After the three-point revolution in the early '90s, you also knew Nellie's teams would chuck up a remarkable number of three-balls. Fans and casual viewers alike loved Nellie Ball because there was always a show. There'd be points, rebounds, dunks and plenty of triples. If you played Fantasy basketball, Nellie-Ball was a veritable godsend unless of course he decided your fantasy stud had been starting too often recently and needed a good spell on the bench for no apparent reason.


The most fondly-remembered example of Nellie-Ball was Run TMC, which Golden State sprinted in the late 80s/early 90s. The perimeter-based core – SF Chris Mullin, SG Mitch Richmond and PG Tim Hardaway – allowed the Warriors their most success since the glory days of their last title in 1975. The Warriors then messed this up – as is their wont – by trading Richmond to Sacramento for the draft rights to Billy Owens. The beginning of the first end for Nelson in Golden State was when the Dubs traded for for rookie PF Chris Webber, who promptly feuded with his crackpot coach. Both got a ticket out of town and what had been so promising has been a slumped heap ever since with only vestiges of the proud days of Rick Barry and Phil Smith.

You never knew what to expect from a Nelson-coached team, aside from their reluctance to play a plodding, inside-oriented game. He could have 7'6 Manute Bol on the perimeter firing up threes. He could post “B-Diddy” Davis. He could send out 6'11 Brad Lohaus to guard a PG simply in order to disrupt their lines of sight. What you could expect was to be amazed – as the NBA loves to put it – at both his creativity and persistence. In many respects, Nellie the General Manager probably was better than Nellie the Coach. As a personnel boss, he prized cohesiveness, athleticism and shooting ability. As a coach he was able to use these skills, but not the coaches who played under him. This meant you always felt he wasn't done coaching and was preparing a roster he wanted, not one his coach wanted.

Never one to conform for it's own sake, Nelson suffered through an unhappy stint in New York before coming to Dallas in 1997. There he took over a truly horrible team and traded their three best players for bit-part guys, including the deal involving the most players traded in one deal at that time when he shipped out Jim Jackson, Eric Montross and Sam Cassell to New Jersey for what amounted to Shawn Bradley and change. Nelson again was stuck with a donut team – a soft middle – but this one he'd created himself. On leaving Dallas, he orchestrated one last great playoff upset by leading the Warriors over the Mavs in 2007 with a team based around PG Baron Davis and SG Monta Ellis – not a quality big man in sight. In an cutesy but equally disturbing way, he became a parody of himself only increasing during his second Dubs stint.

Nelson finishes (probably) his coaching career with 1335 wins, three more than the previous record-holder, Lenny Wilkens. What's more impressive though is that Nelson was an overachiever. His teams were amongst the most talented teams in the league only during the early 80s and (perhaps) the early 2000s. Indeed, his teams were mostly fatally flawed, often of his own doing. This said though, he managed to produce results almost to spite these shortcomings – they were his men, they were his methods and he was goiong to ride these guys to his success or to his doom. He was Nellie, and this was the way he played.

We'll miss Nellie. As heartless as it sounds, we'll probably miss Nellie-Ball more.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Steinbrenner's greatest legacy

This week, the North American sports fraternity mourns George Steinbrenner, former owner of the New York Yankees who passed away of a heart attack aged eighty on Tuesday.

Beginning in 1973, Steinbrenner's reign at the top of the Yankees proved tempestuous, going through growing pains for over two decades. It didn't pay too long to be the Manager of the Yankees - “Manager George” changed them with the same frequency as most of us change antivirus softwares – he employed 20 bosses through his first 23 seasons. General managers fared little better as the Yankees discarded 11 over a thirty year period. His teams started off winning sporadically, but over time fortunes improved and last season he saw his Yankees win their seventh World Series under his tenure with a 4-2 win over the Phillies. Along with those seven titles came 11 American League Championships. Famous initially just for his involvement with the Yankees, Steinbrenner was launched instantly into public consciousness soon after taking over for his tendencies to overvalue the benefits of personal grooming: shortly after purchase he took down the numbers of all the Yankees whose hair he decreed as too long. Other times reprimanded or even benched stars like Goose Gossage and Don Mattingly for having hair, beards or mutton chops not to his liking. Steinbrenner was the archetypal Meddling Owner and the forerunner for such fantastical owners as Mark Cuban and or Dana White*.

Unquestionably though, he became most famous of all for being George Costanza's boss on Seinfeld.

Voiced by series creator Larry David, the Steinbrenner character was portrayed as a random, constantly rambling buffoon who placed more importance on Calzones, Tyler Chicken and the merits of a good, hot soak, than he did the fortunes of his baseball club.

This was my first introduction to George Steinbrenner and to be fair, my defining knowledge of the man is of the parodies he engendered. So his passing got me thinking: Which sporting identities could be parodied in such a way as to become sitcom characters? Given that – let's face it – most secondary sitcom characters have only one defining characteristic or joke and are rarely afforded time or want for character development (cf. “The Todd” in Scrubs; Seinfeld's own Evil Genius Newman; any character in Big Bang Theory or Two and a Half Men – the list goes on), so each would really only need their own physical, mental or emotional idiosyncrasies and a profile large enough that the viewing populace could reasonably recognise them without assistance.

The first that leapt to mind were:

The 1987-88 Washington Bullets (Players, NBA, err ... Washington Bullets)
Well, really only two of them. The Bullets in 1987-88 sported the equal-tallest player in NBA history, Manute Bol (7'7), and the shortest, Muggsy Bogues (5'3). Call 'em what you want: Little & Large Show, The Odd Couple, Manute & Minime ... Coupled with Muggsy's origins in the toughest part of Baltimore and his mile-a-minute speech patterns; Bol's indeterminate age (he honestly didn't know how old he was), stories that he killed a lion in a coming-of-age ceremony in Sudan and courtside pratfalls make this comedy gold! Actually, why isn't anyone making a sitcom about this right now?

Terrell Owens (Player, NFL, Free Agent)
Perhaps the most naturally-gifted Running Back of the past twenty years, TO has already made a parody of himself without needing Hollywood's help. Not the only prodigy to do such (Stephon Marbury's gradual decline into insanity springs instantly to mind), TO's outspokenness, cross-promotability (I'm sure I just invented that word) and utter inability to get along even in the medium-term with anyone in authority just screams sitcom.

Jerry Buss (Owner, NBA, LA Lakers)
Real-Estate billionaire, adopts Playboy-style life, buys a sports franchise; Daughter poses for Playboy herself, joins her brothers in running the franchise then dates Supercoach; Jerry decides to play high-stakes poker. Actually I've got this wrong – this isn't sitcom (though it could be), this is Days of our Lives!

David Beckham (Player, MLS, LA Galaxy)
So what if we're picking on easy targets! Beckham's very life is a soap opera crammed with so much comic gold it's impossible to know where to start. He's actually fits the model of the sitcom character already – the beautiful jock who's perhaps just a couple of kangaroos loose in the top paddock. Add to this his American-Idol-reject of a wife and, to borrow a Seinfeldism, “That's gold, Jerry, GOLD”! Sadly this may never happen as it's eminently possible we've not seen a soccer player this aware of his own marketability before.

Don Nelson (Coach, NBA, Golden State Warriors)
Zany, off-the-wall basketball tacticians, thy God is “Nellie”. After creating a legacy as an innovator while coaching in Milwaukee, Nelson has become th all-time leader in NBA coaching victories. But he's done it amidst rosters no sane man would assemble, the occasional feud with his former-BFFs – he's apparently never left a job on good terms – and the occasional lawsuit thrown in, you can just see him as Crazy Uncle Don, who begins and ends each sentence with “The Power of Christ compels You to DO AS I SAY!”. Nelson comes in to address the quarter-time huddle “The Power of Christ compels You to DO AS I SAY! The next play is an alley-oop to Mullin, run it quickly from the sideline as we don't want him picked up by an athlete. The Power of Christ compels You to DO AS I SAY!

Kevin Sheedy (Coach, AFL, Greater Western Sydney)
Don Nelson's Australian counterpart! With antics like tying the windsock down at Essendon's home ground; coining the phrases “Marshmallows”, calling a trio of field umpires “Martians”, Sheedy could be the madcap Grandpa – I'm sure you, like me, would have to check Williams Shatner's availability. Picture Shatner waving his jacket over his head on beating the West Coast (http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?t=662764&page=2). Now reverse the image, and see Sheedy screaming “KHHAAAAAAAAN”! Perfect, eh? (smug smile)

We'd love to hear your suggestions: please feel free to let Balanced Sports know!

* I know White's really the President & minority owner of the UFC. A little poetic licence, please.