How to avoid "doing a Hull"

With their second win in three road matches, the Tangerine Army have vaulted into fourth on the EPL table with seven points from their opening four games. Manager Ian “Olly” Holloway seems to have inspired his men with that crucial sense of self-belief and Blackpool are defying the predictions of practically everyone who tipped them pre-season for relegation.

Where did such a result come from? Certainly not from the stats, where Blackpool conceded 22 Newcastle shots while generating only eight themselves; they allowed Toon 57% possession and were caught offside on ten separate occasions. After being selected as relegation certainties in the Championship last year, Olly's men surprised everyone playing an attacking, fluid brand of football and upstaged Cardiff City last year in the playoffs to clinch promotion to the Premier League. It now appears they have what it takes to make a fight of staying up.

Always known as a character and a genuine bloke, there's no secret that Holloway loves his current charges – perhaps to his own detriment. As an example, he signed striker DJ Campbell during the transfer window even though his premier league pedigree is questionable at best. Part of his modus operandi has been to show faith in the squad which earned that magnificent promotion last year. Upon the last whistle in the Playoff Final last year he rambled “I just wanted to give some of my boys a pay raise for all they've given me” indicating the automatic raise clause in player's contracts generated by promotion.

So it goes that Ian Holloway, after ten years in management, has earned his stripes as a Premier League man. After leaving Plymouth Argyle for Leicester City and sitting at home for a year following his subsequent dismissal, Olly reflected about that chastening experience in the following terms: “I had a year out of football and had to think about what went wrong in my life. I was given some decent values from my mum and dad in our council house and one of them was honesty and trust and loyalty, and I forgot to do all that at Plymouth. I left them and I made the biggest mistake of my life. But I ended up here and it was the best thing I have ever done”. All this sounds like a man who'd learnt the lessons that life tried to teach – lessons that he's now said include eschewing boring football for an attacking mindset and a refresher course in loyalty.

All this bodes well for Blackpool. As a club there's no question they were unprepared for the jump in both quality and professionalism that promotion to the Premier League involved – chairman Karl Oyston's resignation statement three weeks ago said as much – but as a group they are well grounded and may just have the humility required to stay up. Two years ago when Hull City reached the top of the table after only five weeks in the Premier League, the overreaction was both remarkably quick and ridiculously over the top; it's little surprise the consequences for Hull were appalling. Suddenly Phil Brown was the toast of the town and the belief evident in the play of his Hull Tigers meant he became the “automatic choice” for next England manager. Unfortunately, Hull City believed the hype, if only for a fortnight and after leading his charges to an away win at Arsenal, it seemed Brown began to believe he could walk on water. His ego grew so large that he thought it appropriate to finish the season serenading the Hull faithful even though they had survived through none of their own achievements but the utter ineptness of the Newcastle United management.

That he's humble and gracious really suits Olly. In his post-match interview on Saturday, he mentioned his surprise at his boys trumping a club who finished 32 points ahead of them last year in the Championship; what was touching also was telling the world that Saturday's victory was his “proudest moment”, including even the Wembley Playoff victory last year. It seems that the higher-placed the manager, the more excuses they are able to spout to justify their teams performance. This is obviously a factor of expectation: no-one expects Blackpool to win much this year, so Holloway can afford some humility when they're winning. No one would deny that he faces a completely different line of questioning to Carlo Ancelotti, Roberto Mancini and Sir Alex Ferguson.

The gulf in quality between England's top two divisions is self-evident. In the last ten years, 15 clubs have been relegated either after their first or second season in the top flight and only once during that time have all three promoted teams survived. Olly knows he's facing an uphill struggle and has chosen to inspire confidence in his charges and a knit together tightly his playing group while maintaining his down-to-earth nature. When Hull thrived and faltered, it didn't take long for Phil Brown's ego to run away from him beyond all control. The more successful promoted managers of the past five years have been Tony Pulis, Steve Coppell and Alex McLeish – those who've sought expediency rather than a footballing philosophy and, McLeish excepted, are “back-room boys” and not front-men. Team which insist on playing beautiful football on promotion often find themselves demoted even before the season is half over.

Perhaps the pass-the-ball-into-the-back-of-the-net philosophy doesn't work, but what may be successful is the “Us against The World” mentality, where a small club is taught and guided to trust and depends on each individual teammate to pull their weight. Some days one player will carry the team like goalkeeper Matthew Gilks did on Saturday, on other days no-one specifically steps up and a team performance will win or lose the day. The accountability of mateship is much stronger and plays a much greater role any players performances than accountability to a contract or to money. In his book Showtime, NBA supercoach Pat Riley diagnosed “The disease of more”. He describes it taking place when a team has achieved a certain measure of success and suddenly the players lose focus on team goals and begin to focus on “getting theirs” within the framework of team achievement – in basketball this usually represents more shots or more minutes. In signing players hungry to play his type of football rather than those who are trying to prove they are of Premier League quality, Olly has any short-circuited any potential cases of “the disease of more”.

Every single player, from Gilks to Adam started playing the game because they love it, rather than as an opportunity to make money. Perhaps this is Mad Olly's best piece of scheming – bring back the love of playing with each other, bring back the accountability and bring back the sheer enjoyment of playing footy. He, like other grounded managers realise that players always play best when they enjoy themselves.

Game 4: Newcastle United vs. Blackpool

Game Four

Newcastle vs. Blackpool, Saturday 11^th September

0-2 at St. James Park, Newcastle

Ronaldoisadiving[***]: “I'll say it again. Typical @#$%& Newcastle. Pardon my french, but i @#$%& knew we would lose today. Newcastle have to be the most frustrating team to support in the history of the game.”

BecksA09: “utter rubbish today. i can't stand these days! @#$%& weekend now.”

Ronaldoisadiving[***] again: “If we can't beat Blackpool at home then it isn't going to be a good season for us. Don't know about you guys, but my alarm bells are ringing that's for sure. Everton away next week? Can't see us winning that one either.”

It didn't take long, did it? After four matches, the Toon army has begun to turn on the players so gallant in achieving promotion last term. These are direct quotes from Tynetalk.com (http://www.thefootballnetwork.net/boards/list/s70.htm), a Newcastle United fans website where the Toon army can celebrate or commiserate anonymously after the team's weekend performances. I must admit to not watching the match as getting a live feed proved as difficult as it is for Sol Campbell to refuse a free buffet lunch, but from all reports and in all respects the Magpies were outclassed by lowly Blackpool.

It was for days like this that I chose to follow the Newcastle United journey this season – losses to clubs that statistics, commonsense and comparison put down as probable victories for the Geordies. But lo! After ninety minutes of spirited fight from both teams, a botched tackle in the box by Alan Smith and central defenders beaten on the break by two players yet to be fairly recognised for their abilities, suddenly the Geordie faithful are at the players throats again shouting out the usual laundry list of complaints: The Gaffer's too inexperienced. The players aren't up to it. If only Alan Shearer was still playing. If only Diana was still alive.

Blackpool finished thirty-two points in arrears of Newcastle in the Championship last year yet Ian Holloway has them playing an attacking brand of football capable of troubling the mid-table sides; the mid-table sides where Hughton needs to be focusing all his attention and where NUFC should be aiming to reside at season's end. By cultivating an “us against the world”, tight-knit attitude amongst his team, “Olly” has managed to take the Tangerines from “Dangerous at home” category to “Not at all a certain three points wherever we are”. Whether he can maintain this spirit and the results it's produced is very much still in question, but given the disparity in wages between the two clubs, the size of their fan bases, stadia and reputations, the fans on Tynetalk.com pre-match were confident and predictions of a 3-0 win were thrust willy-nilly onto message boards.

So where did it all go wrong? Blackpool aren't the most skilled side, neither are they the speediest. What they do have is a creative hub in Charlie Adam and a few goal poachers able to make their chances count. For the Magpies, though they controlled the ball for much of the match (57%) and generated nearly three times as many shots as their opponents it was for nothing as they were unable to pass Blackpool GK Matthew Gilks. The hype around Carroll has yet to dissipate fully perhaps meaning that too many heads were in clouds (or was the injury that prevented him from playing in the England U-21s actually genuine? Someone call “Tales from the Crypt”...) and new signings Tiote and HBA are yet to gel with the crux of last year's Championship winners. It's obvious that Hughton has faith in his team if not his new high-profile acquisitions as Ben-Arfa was only afforded 18 minutes of field time while Campbell and Tiote didn't play at all. In HBA's defence, he made a significant impact and the clamour now will be to replace a foundering Alan Smith with the Ivorian or the new boy from Marseille next week.

Given their past two results – a draw with Wolves and this loss to the Tangerines – it's obvious that Newcastle have had opportunities to really put their opponents in a vice and squeeze throughout both matches yet have failed to do so. Is this because the players aren't good enough? They should be given their sterling performances against Villa and Wolves. Because they were able to apply that pressure last year in the second tier without a second thought.

Hughton has talent on hand, but it just didn't perform this week. And his model of achievement both last year and this has been very much like Olly's – he's confident in his charges and has inspired that confidence in the players themselves. He is honest and humble, resulting in him having the backing of the team. That he prefers the back room rather than the spotlight makes him the diametric opposite of past bosses Kevin Keegan, Joe Kinnear and to a lesser extent, Alan Shearer – and the players know full well where attention seeking managers got them.

But to sum up, all is not lost for the Black and White. The expectations of the fans have been tempered since their heady days of two years ago. Later, in the same conversation thread, I found the following posts from more moderate fans like tunyc:

“... To be fair, it sounds like their keeper had a blinder. It also doesn't sound like the forwards were the problem, as Carroll had chances and Nolan is described as lively-all for naught against a keeper who was very much on his game. That we surrendered a penalty on what I'm reading described as a foolish, unnecessary and late challenge by Smith is irritating... ... I really hope Tiote can offer some more pace and better tackling. Beyond that, meh- we hit a post before they opened and their second goal was at the end when we were throwing everything forward. If you guys thought this season would be a walk-even to survival-you're going to be proven wrong. Bring on the next one...“

Brett Favre: A matter of definition

After watching “The Wrestler” last night, it occurred to me that the battle between what's best for you and what defines you as a person is something which most athletes fight against throughout their careers. In the movie this battle is unsubtly portrayed as Randy “The Ram” Robinson is forced to reconsider his future due to health problems – the drama that nearly won “The Wrestler” several Oscars comes as he tries to reintegrate into a society that replaces peer and fan accolades with normal human relationships.

I can't help but think this is partly what haunts Brett Favre. Once you could know with absolute certainty that he'd start 16+ games in the green and gold, but over the past few years he's been traded to New York (seriously, can you think of a larger paradigm shift than moving from Green Bay to New York City? I can't), retired, unretired, signed as a free agent with the Minnesota Vikings, flirted with retirement, held out and finally come back to the Vikings apparently re-energised and ready for a twentieth NFL season.

His consecutive streak of starts remains unbroken after Thursday's loss at New Orleans, but Favre continues to ride the Pro Football bus. The most decorated QB of the past two decades, Favre is perhaps one of the most complex men in the league no matter how simple and corn-fed he and his agent have made him out to be. His life took a new turn in 2010 as he became a grandfather, the only one in the pro football today.

There can only be two reasons for his continued NFL existence – he still loves the game as much as ever, or that he's scared of the future. Sure the money is nice, but for a man who's made more money than Gordon Gekko – to continue the movie theme – surely it can't be the determining factor. And nothing in sports is as cut and dried as it seems, especially with Brett. The guess here is that his decision to go around again stems from both Column A and Column B. There can be no question that he loves the game, but I'd bet my last dollar that Favre's defined himself in his own brain, his own ego, as a quarterback. He's done this since high school football. It's fair to surmise he has minimal idea what his life will involve once he finally hangs up the helmet for good.

And to be fair, this doesn't just happen with pro athletes although they do form the most striking example of post-career blues. I once knew a therapist in Melbourne – call him Lal – who'd worked in the same area for nearly seventy years. He tried to retire and hand over control of his practice five separate times to his successors, moved down to his beach house and promptly returned in less than two months to demand reinstatement at the head of the clinic. At last count, he was 93 and had finally retired for the sixth time. It turned out he got bored easily. Can you imagine how bored one must get after nearly thirty years of adrenaline highs?

In sport though, the contrast can be even more stark. Anyone who retires from their local sports club can depart appreciated, but the level of adulation that John Public receives after fifteen years sterling service at Dumbarton FC could only be the most poor imitation of what pro athletes go through. When you get to the Pros, the volume is turned up to eleven: there's more money, there's more and prettier women, and the lifestyle involves greater excesses. The comedown off the NFL high – especially one that's lasted twenty years and four different cities – is something to be feared.

This problem of definition tends only to raise it's head later in an athlete's career. But should it occur earlier, these issues with self-definition can haunt an athlete's legacy forever. One of the more well-rounded athletes of recent times was basketball's David Robinson. Robinson retired in 2003 after winning his second NBA Championship with the San Antonio Spurs and has never looked back. That he had foundations and several business interests from an early age perhaps detracted from his NBA career – the main criticism of him while in the NBA was that basketball wasn't a matter of life and death to him – but it did make for an easier transition into retirement and normal life. To paraphrase, the road to retirement is paved with good intentions. Robinson will forever be labelled as never reaching his potential because the game just didn't mean enough to him. Several coaches have said that he was amongst the most talented players ever, but failed to live up to his potential. But should we as fans look down on him for those same reasons or celebrate a man who realised more and earlier than the rest of us that sport is an outlet, a means to an end?

With Brett Favre, it isn't the Liberatore Conundrum (http://balancedsports.blogspot.com/2010/07/liberatore-conundrum.html) all over again, not even close. Favre is an offensive player whose skill is delivering the ball rather than stopping an opponent. But I can't help but feel sad looking at a player and realising he knows everything there is to know about one sport but he's yet to discover that there's more to life. What becomes even more tragic is when onfield performance begins to suffer and the last limping seasons become defining memories. This isn't a major concern yet given the strength of his offensive line and his characteristic poise. To that end, Favre is coming off one of his best ever statistical seasons. But even after such a dominant season to find him having second thoughts about continuing makes me think his heart really isn't in it but he knows little else.

Does this reluctance to walk into the sunset show up as a black mark on his career? I don't think so. Firstly, his performance hasn't slipped that much and it's unlikely to slip much more (unless his offensive line stinks) because he plays predominantly from the pocket. Favre's singular strength has always been the combination of accuracy and head smarts and this means he could even play for another year or two yet. But when you think about a generation-defining player, usually the lasting memories you have tend to be those of their final moments. Michael Jordan, author of several of the greatest moments in basketball history: “The Shot”, “The Pass”, “The change-hands”, “The Shrug” finds these all superseded by one defining memory: of him at the foul line with arm extended. “The Other Shot” against Bryon Russell and the Utah Jazz has become Michael Jordan's piece de resistance, the final morsel to be savoured before retiring, not his early high-flying days or his nasty Washington Wizards coda. More than anything else though, Michael Jordan's had a curious off-field persona ever since his days with Chicago and all of this is masked by the happy, vibrant memories he gave us while playing for the Bulls.

Perhaps this is closer to the truth as to why Favre sat on the fence so long before coming back. One of his last acts in an outstanding potentially-final season was to throw the ball away under pressure in last year's NFC Championship game against the Saints. Perhaps, like MJ, he understands his own legacy and feels that his messy exits from Green Bay and the Jets could mean his off-field persona is forever marked somewhere between indecisive and spoiled. Perhaps he feels he needs a happy ending before finally walking into the sunset.

Perhaps.

The Very Powerful and the Very Stupid

“The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common – instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts which needs altering”.

Doctor Who, played by Tom Baker in “The Face of Evil” (1977)


Mohammed Asif's reported request for asylum in England throws the role of players allegedly involved in spot-fixing into stark contrast. Gone are the callow days of cricket, farewell to “innocent until proven guilty”. No doubt Asif's suddenly found himself in more trouble than he could have ever imagined but an plea for safety of this sort really gives one an idea of what trouble these potentially misguided and undoubtedly unfortunate men will face at home.

When the safety of players is threatened due to on-field performance – or lack thereof – the first name mentioned is usually Andrés Escobar, the Colombian who was shot dead in 1994 after his own goal at the FIFA World Cup. It is thought that his own goal was the catalyst for heavy gambling losses sustained by drug warlords who then took their revenge on the Atletico National defender. Hansie Cronje was also subjected to death threats as a result of his role in the “tempted by Satan” affair of 2000 while mystery still surrounds the 2007 death of Bob Woolmer at the ICC World Cup. That Woolmer, the retiring coach of Pakistan, was to publish a tell-all memoir detailing gambling's arm-in-arm relationship with Pakistani cricket can hardly have eased suspicions of a gambling-driven murder.

That our athletes are subjected to such stresses makes me very, very sad. There's no question that each person seduced by gamblers, be it for information, point shaving/spot fixing or match fixing deserves to be punished to the full extent of the laws for that sport. If that's a flat ban, then so be it. Should the laws dictate fines and suspensions, then apply them to the fullest. But the laws need to be enforced by the police and the governing bodies and not by individuals. Taking one's frustration out on a person who's wronged you rarely helps a situation and tends only to complicate matters – but sporting pride or indeed national pride engenders such fierce parochialism that it becomes impossible to talk with a devotee in rational terms. A case of “white line fever” can develop remarkably quickly into the more serious “white line foaming at the mouth” and finally result in “white line dead-on-arrival”.

No doubt Mohammed Asif fears for his safety. He lives in a country in which disease, death and destruction are commonplace yet has risen to become one of the world's best fast bowlers and he's done this amidst violence on a scale that most of us could only have nightmares about. If he fears for his safety, you can be sure he has ample reason. To take money from gamblers means that you are always in their pocket – they can always approach you again, and if you ever refuse the option forever remains for them to “out” you. Or “off” you. And if exposed, you risk the scorn (at best) and the vengeful ire (at worst) of your country's sporting faithful. So no matter what your economic situation, to take money from these people is naive at best, clinically stupid at worst.

As the good Doctor tells us in the opening quote, the very stupid may think that gambler's money is just easy cash and this obviously is not the case. A fool isn't necessarily someone who doesn't see risk – that simply makes them unfortunate or unintelligent – a fool is someone who justifies that risk as worthwhile. And the very powerful will always have that power. Like any good gambler, the powerful ensure they hold all the cards before being dealt in. If only we could say the same for the very stupid.

Holman adds another string to Australia's bow

When I first saw Brett Holman play for the Socceroos several years ago against Uruguay, I thought he was lucky to have made the team. If he and Carl Valeri represented the “new” generation of Australian footballers, the post “Golden Generation” Socceroos could well be in serious trouble. Touted as Australia's attacking hub for the the coming era, he ran around like a crazy person yet was ineffective off the ball, didn't threaten with either pass or dribble and it appeared he was taught his finishing skills by Gary Neville. What was evident however was his stamina and enthusiasm as he played off primary striker Scott McDonald, then of Celtic, another talented “skippy” yet to make his mark on the international stage.

But since that warm-up match for the 2007 Asian Cup in Sydney, Holman has moved clubs (to AZ Alkmaar) and through persistence achieved a solid international footing. One can argue that with Luke Wilkshire, the headless chicken of the past was one of Australia's best at the recent World Cup and provided the highlight of South Africa 2010 for the Green and Gold Army with his 25-yard goal against Serbia. His only drawback for the tournament was then-manager Pim Verbeek's reluctance to pair him and Tim Cahill together, fearing a duplicity of talent.

His record for Australia still isn't great statistically but Holman has scored in three of his last five matches – including against Poland in a startling cameo on Tuesday – bringing his international goal tally up to 5. Against Asian competition who won't have his combination of power, pace and stamina he looms alongside Cahill's aerial ability as Australia's trump card going into the 2011 Asian Cup. This in turn allows new coach Holger Osieck to add a second string to an Aussie bow which under Verbeek consisted only of high crosses into the box by the Socceroo “bomb squad”. Australia will for once have a creative dynamo with the ball on the floor as well as the dominant box presences of Cahill & Joshua Kennedy. The key now is to ensure that these three are suitably ready and meshed to provide that combination.

The re-retirement of old stager Scott Chipperfield robs Australia of a forward threat that replacements Tommy Oar & David Carney may initially struggle to match. This means a squad replete with staid midfielders may again need a spark – one which Holman is now perfectly capable of providing on a regular basis.

Andy Carroll: Next Toon messiah, Next England messiah?

Let's get the facts straight first up. Andy Carroll has made nine premier league starts for Newcastle. In those starts he's scored precisely four goals as a starter, all of them in his last two matches. The clamour for him to represent England in the Qualifiers for the European Championships during the Three Lions' two matches against Bulgaria & Switzerland has grown to fever pitch and as the Magpies fought to a draw with Wolves last weekend he was personally scouted by Franco Baldini, the England Assistant Manager.

There's no question that the kid has talent. He's been the pride and hope for the Toon army since he was barely 18, all while sporting a frame that makes Kevin Davies blush. He's a big lad. But to further flesh out the picture, he's aerobically very capable, runs to the right places on the pitch, and is a burly sort who doesn't mind contact and thus very good at creating enough time in the box for himself or others to shoot. The accuracy of those shots, however, is another matter but he's still only 21 and polish often comes later in a career.

So why or why not would Andy Carroll be a good target man for England? It's safe to say that the alternatives now Emile Heskey has retired – err. … Carlton Cole, Bobby Zamora, Davies and even Peter Crouch – don't fill opposition defences with dread. And, Crouch aside (but he's hurt at present anyway), none are in good form. You can be assured that Carroll's never played better and that he's been a handful for such experienced hands as Richard Dunne & Jody Craddock over the past two weeks. Combine this with his play against Man U's Vidic & Evans where he really should have scored and it paints a tantalising picture.

Should Fabio Capello and the England hierarchy feel that he could be the man to partner Wayne Rooney at the Euros in 2012, then it is now that he should be brought into the squad. Let him train with the England A-listers. Run him out in friendlies and “safe” second-legs until he gets a solid international footing. But this must be a consistent effort by management – given the noise surrounding his past fortnight, one of the only reasons he hasn't been picked already is the question remains if he's ready for prime-time. If he's not ready, he can be hastened into that readiness by allowing him to play roles here and there consistently within the national set-up. Tell him your plans for him. Communicate that and let him know that he has a place in forward plans should his form merit it.

To be honest, should he not play for England, I wouldn't really care. In fact, in these blog pages just a few days ago I wrote that it was perhaps premature to speak of him being the perfect foil for Rooney. He isn't the perfect foil for Rooney right now – he still needs polish for sure and he's quite simply not quite ripe – but if he has any chance of developing into that foil then that needs to be nurtured and encouraged over time rather than simply picking him if there's no one else available or because he fits in now but not later. If management doesn't expect a player to be playing at those Euros in two years time, it's nonsensical to expect that player to participate in these qualifiers. In two years, Andrew Carroll may be the best target-man in England. He also may very well not be – there is a lot of water to cross under a lot of bridges before he even approaches the status of a Didier Drogba. But if he has even the slightest chance to developing into that power forward, then pick him! What has England got to lose in the first games of a new qualifying campaign?

Kevin Pietersen simply tells us what we already know

The recent furore about Kevin Pietersen tweeting his disgust at being dropped for the oncoming One-day series says nothing more about Pietersen than what we already knew. What it does raise, however, is the burgeoning issue of appropriate use of social networking sites by cricketers, Twitter foremost among them.

The ECB has recently made moves to ban players from using the microblogging site, a move for control by a board unable to micromanage its playing staff as in days past. At the front of their minds must be the abusive tweet sent to a fan by paceman Tim Bresnan as well as Pietersen's outraged update at being “rested”. Gone are the days of a simple five-minute radio interview at the end of a day's play, now replaced by 24/7 access to the dressing room, long the most private area of any team's domain. To that extent, several leagues have legislated to stop players tweeting during matches or about in-game incidents.

This northern summer, KP's form has been patchy at best and he has stagnated as a batsman since the Moores crisis of early 2009. His batting, once powerful and expressive enough to command a place in any world cricket side, has reached the point where he's now convinced – like Matthew Hayden in his career twilight – that domination of a bowling attack comes down only to an aggressive state of mind rather than the combination of footwork, attitude and hard graft.

Of course Pietersen's antics shouldn't come as a surprise. He has ample experience at dealing with traditional media sources and must have known his Twitterrage would be reported yet still posted the message. This adds proof to the theory that most professional athletes react differently to disappointment than the rest of us. As an exceedingly small group, they are feted and praised beyond all recognition simply for their hand-eye co-ordination and as a result a healthy world-view is hard to maintain. These abilities are so desired that the media and fans have created this elite status where a blind eye can be turned consciously to an athlete's self-obsession, all because it's in everyone's best interest to see that athlete perform at their best.

If KP's Twitterburst came from a normal person it would be seen as immature. But we can't judge him in those terms because he's not a normal person. At least he doesn't consider himself normal because he's been told that's he's special by everyone since age twelve. One only has to see his posture at the crease to gain insight into how Pietersen views himself. Like anyone who is told something repetitively, Kevin has come to believe that he is special and that special people get what they want, whether that be a spot in the team, superior treatment in restaurants or a chance to voice their opinion, no matter how alternative, misguided or clinically insane.

Making (and recovering from) mistakes combined with good old-fashioned repetition forms the bedrock of learning. When it comes to cricket, Pietersen's talent has helped him make fewer mistakes than the norm. With a lack of negative reinforcement and only repetition – which in itself breeds obsession – from which to learn, could this be a key source of his skewed perspective? With a minimum of negative reinforcement, how could any of us have a well-adjusted world view?

How any player chooses to express himself is very much up to the individual. The proliferation of athletes regurgitating only cliche and optimism means it's safe to expect only platitudes from the age-old combination of player and microphone. Adding fuel to the fire is very rare now – especially since the retirement of noted agitators McGrath and Warne – but whenever a player steps out of line via Twitter he should as accountable for his words as he would be in any other public forum. Rather than a flat-ban, applying the simple “Would you say that to a microphone”? technique may be the best option. Social networking tools should be treated exactly the same as any other media outlet with anything published on these sites regarded as a public statement – vent, post, or blog at the player's own risk like the rest of us – and if an employer can catch a truant employee via a facebook update then the same rules must apply to athletes.

The ECB shouldn't, and probably legally can't, stop their cricketers from using these sites. Of pro athletes, the number of damaging tweets as a percentage of overall tweet numbers must be microscopic and rarely are any tweets revelatory. I mean, how often do you expect to hear a startling disclosure about anything in 140 characters or less? And combined with the unflappable boredom that makes up the current crop of world cricketers this issue suddenly becomes irrelevant. The domain of the pro athlete is no longer only the arena and has stretched into cyberspace: Twitter is an egotist's (and their agent's) wet dream because it allows everyone in the world free and unfettered access to “the brand”, in this case the most damaging batsman in World Cricket today.

Game 3: Newcastle United vs Wolverhampton Wanderers

What do you need to be successful in the English Premier League?
a) A burning hatred of Liverpool?
b) Pockets the size of small black holes?
c) An iron bar underneath your jersey
d) A recidivist superstar?
e) All of the above

It turns out that the answer is e) - capacious pockets and the not-so-secret key, while larcenous crowbars are important in thriving in the world's richest league. Joey Barton, for one, can swear to it after being the victim of several tough challenges on Saturday. As Wolves manager Mick McCarthy said after the game: “Really, Joey”? Without doubt the greatest positives to come from the game for the NUFC faithful came from those moments: firstly, that the team has stones to stand up to the physical pressure applied, coupled with the maturity with which Barton handled his rough treatment, the orders for which can only have come from Wolves' leadership. A new start for Toon? Is the immaturity that's marked the last 20 years replaced in one fell Championship-winning swoop?

Nothing in this game disproved what we already know about Newcastle United this season. Firstly, that they have both the talent – especially with new boy Hatem Ben Arfa and extraspecially with rumoured new alum Robbie Keane – and the wherewithal to defeat the teams needed to in order to remain in the top tier. Secondly, they have the size needed in order to defer any of the physical beatings the established clubs may want to administer.

The best case in point I can come up with stems from last Monday's Liverpool vs. Manchester City match. In central midfield, the Citizens fronted up Gareth Barry, Nigel De Jong and Yaya Toure against the Reds' Steven Gerrard and Lucas – and even disregarding the numerical advantage, time after time the Reds were pushed off the ball by bigger and stronger players in the clinches. The result was 3-0 to the Sky Blues and was marked by one particular incident where Liverpool new boy Milan Jovanovic bounced four metres after incidental contact from Micah Richards. That the Magpies have size in midfield is a plus – any young upstart club could easily have folded with the physical pressure applied by Wolves. But this size and subsequent unwieldiness can be to their detriment defensively: Coloccini & Mike Williamson are much better at defending large target men rather than smaller, pacier centre forwards and the ease with which Ebanks-Blake's wrong-footed them for his goal directly represented this lack of agility. James Perch was lucky not to concede a penalty and his direct lack of pace when opposed to Matt Jarvis was also to blame.

Andy Carroll's monster header gave the Toon the equaliser they deserved after Sylvan Ebanks-Blake's 43rd minute goal – proof that Carroll is in the form of his life. Should his career arc continue on this upward trajectory then he should make a name for himself playing for the Three Lions, but talk of him as the best partner for Wayne Rooney is perhaps premature. Kevin Nolan again proved as cunning as usual in his forward machinations, able to create space and time in the box (making him sound like a TARDIS) in a manner not quite exactly unlike Carroll. His profligacy in the goal mouth however disappointed but gives hope he can be a 10-15 goal forward this season. That two of last week's stars, Routledge and Enrique were quieter was unsurprising given the physical sacrifices they've made to generate the speed required to play their type of game.

Hatem Ben Arfa signs for Newcastle

Saturday 28th August

Newcastle United sign Hatem Ben-Arfa on loan

To overestimate the importance of this deal would be impossible. In Ben-Arfa (HBA) the Magpies have suddenly acquired the dazzle they need to go with their razzle, the salt to go with their already-ample pepper and the touch of class needed in order to make this season a success.

There's no doubt that HBA is a technically skilled and proficient player; in fact he automatically assumes Kevin Nolan's role as the creative hub of the side (eeew – I just wrote the words “Kevin Nolan” and “creative hub” in the same sentence), but his game does come with a few downsides. First of all, he's a notorious head case capable of destroying dressing room harmony in as much time as it takes for Steven Taylor to get injured. Secondly, he's a lightweight player in the same vein as fellow Marseille product, Samir Nasri. His lack of stature is of secondary importance however as in Nolan, Smith & Barton he's surrounded by several big bodied players able to both take physical punishment and should needs arise, defend him; in fact having a small-bodied creator should provide enough offensive change-up that this potential drawback can only be labeled “potential” rather than “as certain as Joey Barton is mad”.

To say he becomes the jewel in Newcastle's crown is misguided – there really aren't any other jewels on Tyneside to which he can be compared – just a bunch of solid players. Chris Hughton seems to have taken the “Every dog has his day” approach – and assembled a bunch big, solid hounds in midfield, hoping that on any one day an outstanding Kevin Nolan or Joey Barton game can see them competitive. But Ben Arfa's different, a wonderfully-skilled player capable of perhaps unlocking regularly the better defences in the Premiership.

His attributes aren't really the point here. What's going to prove crucial to the fortunes of Newcastle and their supporters is whether HBA is able to harness his immense talent in this Magpie side. ESPN's Bill Simmons has long purported the “Knucklehead theory” where any team is able to have one clown without trouuble. But as soon as that side invests in a second knucklehead, they play off each other creating malady after malady for management. Ben Arfa comes with “damaged goods” stamped prominently across his shipping crate, why else would Marseille have let him go? His well-documented dalliances with “suits” and teammates alike – he's come to fisticuffs with at least four separate teammates and hasn't spoken to Marseille manaager Didier Deschamps for six months – prove he has at best the temperament of a pro athlete, at worst that of a badly spoiled child. Mis a healthy dose of this into ample helpings of Joey Barton and Andy Carroll? The challenge for Toon management is obviously now to balance his top-drawer skills with his bottom-drawer attitude, and Hughton's the kind of “players' manager” who could either bring out the best in HBA or simply be fried by season-long exposure to a loaded ballistic missile. Suffice to say the season of Newcastle just got more interesting.

Why is it always Pakistan?

After the body blows dealt to International Cricket by the gambler and fixer who has implicated several Pakistani players as having “thrown” Test matches for betting purposes, several sources are now looking at potential punishments for any players found guilty of match-fixing. Given that most match-fixing probes (and gamblers themselves) have pointed their long, bony fingers-of-death directly towards Pakistan, it's been suggested that banning Pakistan from international cricket until it “cleans up it's act” is an appropriate form of punishment.

Blatantly not true. Hansie Cronje aside, the most famous cricket match-fixing claims in recent memory were those aimed at former Pakistan captain Salim Malik, who was banned for life from all cricket in 199x. Should any player currently accused for throwing the alleged matches in England and Australia be found guilty, then they too should be banned for life. Given the precarious nature of world cricket at this time, there can be no cricketing punishment too harsh for those found guilty of placing money over the sanctity and future viability of a sport played only in a dozen countries.

Banning Pakistan altogether would be counterproductive. What's been overlooked is that as India drags itself from the developing world up to become a major player in world business and politics, Pakistan has yet to make the same strides. A military coup in 1999, followed by a series of devastating natural disasters combined with some well-aimed US airstrikes have made Pakistan and India – practical economic equals in the early 1990s – about as far apart in the economics of World Cricket as possible.

Where India has an extremely high number of educated youth, the same can't be said of their northern neighbours. That education drags up the economy from subsistence and survival to production and service, bringing with it television and subsequently the incredible financial clout that India brings to the ICC. In Pakistan, all they've had to hold onto is their incredible reserves of playing talent, but even that seems to be drying up: the number of absolute World Class players who've arrived on the Pakistan scene since 1995, includes Mohammed Yousuf and Inzamam Ul-Haq at best.

For Pakistani cricketers in an impoverished society, the match payments that come with playing for their country must be an absolute boon. The money that abounds now in Test Cricket is greater than ever, meaning the sums won and lost gambling are in turn increased. As a world culture we have more disposable income than ever and corporations rather than governments rule world fiscal policy – as evidenced by the wealth on offer in the IPL and ICL. Is it any coincidence that Pakistan has a boatload of players chasing the cash in those competitions – especially the ICC-unsanctioned ICL? Is it any wonder that their freshly-minted Test captain Shahid Afridi retired after one test saying he wasn't suited to the game and preferred to play Twenty20? The money is better for these players as free agents and if I had to live in Pakistan I'd want the most money I could get my hands on.

So it's completely understandable – but still unforgivable – as to how a player could have his head turned by the money on offer and see it as a lifeline rather than selling out their country's sporting pride. By leading a military coup against a democratically elected government, President Pervez Musharraf has perhaps sold out his country in the most entire way possible and his dominion is simply following suit in – and let's be honest – a much smaller issue. For the longest time, the PCB has been a political volleyball, shunted across several different chairmen each with their own political and cricketing ideas and ambitions, resulting in nearly as many coaches as players in the past twenty years. The nature of Pakistan as an enitity is now under question moreso than at any other time since it's independence in 1947 and the state of their cricket reflects this.

Perhaps it is time for the ICC to bring in a FIFA-type watchdog, which punishes any governmental interference in a country's Football Association? With an ICC watchdog, should a country refuse to fall into line, they are punished with loss of their home test series – it's played on foreign soil with only telecasts allowed being from the visiting nation. Should they then continue to fail to comply, they could be limited to a certain amount of matches per year. As a final step, they are banned for one, two or three year periods.

Other countries have attracted the ire of the ICC in recent years, particularly Zimbabwe and Kenya. But the world cricketing community has basically said “That's a shame” and moved on because they are very much small fry. Pakistan's reputation as cricket heavyweights and World Cup winners coupled with their cricket-mad population make this a horrible time for the nation. This furore matters because Pakistan matters to world cricket in a way that Zimbabwe and Kenya can only dream of.

Banning Pakistan straight-up for this won't work – the gamblers will pick other targets. The West Indies as a group of islands are in a similar economic situation to Pakistan. So is Bangladesh, while the less said about the economic and cricketing mess in Zimbabwe the better. The best young talent in the world grows up on the streets of Lahore, Karachi and Islamabad – has any country produced such wonderful, youthful talent so regularly as Pakistan over the last forty years? Most of their top-notchers played for their country before they turned 20 and some of those – Imran Khan, Waqar Younis, Wasim Akram – will go down amongst the very best ever. To ban Pakistan srraight-up would punish the entire country for it's failure to thrive economically and politically as a nation and that is patently unfair. If a player is found guilty of taking bribes, the punishment must be doled out to them alone and it must hurt.