Rooney dumps himself into dilemma

We all remember the last time Wayne Rooney wanted out.  Or at least, we should.  In October of 2010, his agent Paul Stretford claimed the nascent twenty five year-old was frustrated with a lack of progress at Old Trafford and that he wanted to compete for trophies he felt were beyond United’s reach. 

After two days of death-threats and punditry reliant upon the word “entitlement”, Sir Alex Ferguson and Rooney emerged two days later and announced the forward had signed a new deal – for five years- which would make him the highest-paid Red Devil of all time.  The venerable gaffer had spent the previous two days displaying all the hallmarks of a master of amateur cod-psychology, effectively reversing the gun barrel pointed at the club and pointing it squarely at a player never looked upon by “the faithful” in the same way since.

Two and a half years later, we find history repeats itself as the player most associated with Sir Alex Ferguson’s final handful of great Manchester United teams was left out of the manager’s farewell appearance at Old Trafford.  The manager himself confirmed – on a day that should have been about him, not anyone else – that Rooney had asked out.  Current betting markets like Unibet have Bayern Munich favoured to land the most talented English player of his generation, followed by Paris Saint-Germain and Chelsea.

However, the equation might not be so simple.  As a result both of form and also that abysmally-mismanaged game of one-upmanship, Rooney finds himself with few options.  While rumour suggests he prefers a transfer to Bayern Munich, would this year’s Champions League finalists want him – especially with a new manager entering and whispers of Neymar on the way? 

At Chelsea, he would be a lumbering throwback at no. 10 and a retrograde step from the scampering dervishes now en vogue forward of centre at Stamford Bridge.  Even as a designated poacher, his appeal decreases: while cash isn’t necessarily an object for either Roman Abramovich or the Qatari Sports Group, Financial Fair Play certainly is.

Rooney’s predicament is an absolute function of on- and off-field form.  Since his cumbersome double-bluff was called in late 2010, the club’s former talisman has performed only irregularly on the pitch, which has resulted in Ferguson preferring United’s other forward options in the season’s biggest games. 

This is multiplied by the lack of esteem in which he – the person, rather than the player – is held by Manchester United’s fans.  His continual lack of foresight has seen him maneuver himself into an awkward position - unlike 2010, he appears to genuinely want to leave Manchester, yet the contract he “won” at that time and patchy form hardly endears him to Europe’s top clubs.  Rather than accept a lauded position as the definitive Red Devil of the early part of this century, his myopia has led him now to almost certainly ending his career at Old Trafford an unfulfilled great.

Wayne Rooney’s lack of vision has made a very stiff rod for his own back.

An Apologetic for Carlos Tevez

An apologetic ... for Carlos Tevez? Just days after a scathing open letter? The same guy writing both? I guess stranger things have happened - remember Julian Faubert once played for Real Madrid.

Less than a week ago, I suggested Carlos Tevez finally "end his Manchester hell" and return once and for all to South America, the Copa Libertadores and probably a smaller pay packet. Many of the same sentiments which prompted that letter remain: the "poor little old Carlos" attitude he attempts to drum up - often using his family to do so, the fact his de facto posture when negotiating almost anything with his club is a "they don't respect me" and the omnipresence of the positive proof of every conspiracy theory ever, Kia Joorabchian.

courtesy: thatsagoal.com

In the wake of an unsuccessful ₤35 million bid tabled by Brazilian club Corinthians, a few more details should be highlighted. Football is a business dependent on the consumer. Manchester City even moreso. Leaving aside ticket sales for a moment, sponsorship dollars (not real concern for City amid their Emirati sponsorships) depend on results, for which City almost exclusively rely upon him. Shirt and other apparel sales, TV revenue and global exposure are all derived from star players and there are few stars in England with either the marketability or skill of Carlos Tevez. And this doesn't even consider the fact Manchester City face an uphill battle to match the worldwide popularity of their cross-town rivals from the Red half, Manchester United.

As City expand operations from a second-division club only eleven years ago, to a "safe" mid-table team, to the Champions' League and finally - perhaps inevitably - to the Premiership title, much of that growth has come on the back of Carlos Tevez. Notwithstanding he was the first superstar to sign on for City, his goalscoring punch and (perhaps more crucially) global reputation as one of the best in the world make him perhaps the most required player in the English Premiership. Were City to replace him with, say, Karim Benzema or Gonzalo Higuain the results may even out - but the club would lose significant promotional monies because both potential replacements don't have the global profile of the Citizens' current captain.

So Tevez and Kia Joorabchian should be congratulated for their ability to play the media to their greater advantage; no-one creates the proverbial storm in a teacup like they do. Football is a game where the business side is based built around visibility - on club and personal levels. Why else would Champions' League revenues be so high? Carlos Tevez is one of the most visible players in Europe. While the methods the pair employ may rub against the grain, they are the most obvious manager/player combination the game has recently seen. This means both are doing their jobs - Tevez on the pitch and Joorabchian off it.

It's not Kia Joorabchian's job to make Carlos Tevez liked, it's to increase or maintain his player's visibility as a star. In doing so, he improves his own financial situation. By agitating for a move every six months, he has performed admirably - It may even come as somewhat of a relief for the agent that Man City rejected yesterday's bid. His methods may be distasteful, but they are most certainly effective. While praise for the dynamic duo would be disingenuous, grunted respect would not be.

Presence forms a large portion of celebrity. If contributing nothing else to society, shows such as Australia's Next Top Model, UK Idol and X-Factor have taught us that. In a sport driven by television and marketing dollars, a top-line footballer's role includes more than just banging in twenty goals a season. Kia Joorabchian seems to have recognised this earlier than most and therefore "plays the game" at a more advanced level than other powerbrokers. Like it or no - and not many actively like Carlos Tevez any more - football is a business and fans are no longer the lifeblood but just consumers.

As yet another Tevez Saga - the two words go together like "Rob Green" and "Howler" - rattles on, the outraged masses may have misjudged Tevez and Joorabchian. It's hard to mistake greed, but often much harder to recognise business talent emerging before their time.

An Open Letter to Carlos Tevez

Dear Carlos Tevez,

For five years now you've been a shedload of trouble for the entire English Premier League. With this letter, I'd like to invite you to please stop moaning about the loneliness of Northern England and return to Argentina as you have for so long suggested you'd like.

The biannual farce which into which the "Carlos Tevez submits Transfer Request" headline has degenerated - which while admittedly spurring me to write this letter - has become a parody of a a parody, like a Monty Python sketch which starts funny but then feels as if it never ends. While we all understand how trying it is to be parted from friends and family (some of us have even shared your heartbreaking isolation in a country in which we do not speak the language), complaining every six months about a situation into which you walked of your own volition has turned what begun a sympathetic posture into a cynical one.

Please understand I'm not trying to minimise the pain of separation from your daughters at all. It's just the predictability with which this storm-in-a-teacup occurs means you have exhausted any supply of public sympathy for your plight. (And "earning" 200,000+ a week should preclude us from using the world "plight" anyway). Unless it is for obviously laudable reasons a transfer request is often met with scorn from your current team's support base. After being trotted out several times now, the recent spate of "I miss my daughters" has morphed from a tragic reality of a footballer's life into seemingly a ploy where - though undoubtedly true you miss your girls - the aim seems to be directing public ire away from you in a situation almost entirely of your own creation.  If this sounds familiar, think "Bomber" Thompson.

Welcomed to "Manchester".  Will he be farewelled as fondly?

It was said of the great basketballer Shaquille O'Neal that, with the exception of his last teams Boston and Cleveland, whenever he moved clubs, he did so amidst acrimonious circumstance. The same could be said of you - at Boca, at Corinthians, West Ham and finally Manchester United you have left more enemies than friends. Which, on the face of it, is really quite sad and perhaps - just perhaps - gives the public eye a big glimpse of your inner happiness. In a game where one often has to look out for themselves first, you and Kia Joorabchian have done so admirably; but if your latest statements are to be believed, it hasn't contented you.

Many of us have had to move intercontinentally. It is exceedingly difficult, though ultimately rewarding - it allows us to grow, to see that life is much larger than the small corners of existence we previously inhabited. Some of us are rewarded romantically, spiritually or even fiscally for the pain of separation.

You certainly have earned signficant monies as a result of your footballing success - so why not put some of that where your cakehole is? Rather than having said sweet baked good and eating it too, take (one mother of) a pay cut to play in South America - for none of us are able to figure out how Madrid or Milan - or, heaven forbid, Chelsea - are closer to Argentina than Millionaire's row in Cheshire. It's not that we don't feel for you, but many of us think you're trying to use this situation to your gain. It seems your position is that you are disadvantaged by playing for City; a move to Real or Inter would be "fair".

Unfortunately, that is a posture for the misguided.

In careers, we are forced to take the good with the bad. In football, if you want the big bucks and the best competition, you are forced to move. It is a flat fact of existence at the top level of almost any profession. Sacrifices must be made for a career - or for family. And while we applaud you for your devotion to your daughters, we also implore you to put up, or shut up. For the ball is in your court.

Sincerely,

A very bored former admirer.

The author would like all who read this to know that he has no truck with Monty Python and indeed thinks they were amongst (if not THE) the greatest comedians of all time.