Craig Bellamy - the signing of the season?

Everyone loves something for nothing.  In the high-priced world of professional football, the same is even more true.  When in August last year Kenny Dalglish asked Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini nicely for Craig Bellamy, the Liverpool icon became the proud “owner” of one very cheap, slightly-used Welsh forward.

That very cheap, slightly used Welsh forward – who spent last season on loan at his hometown club, Cardiff City – has since been one of the Reds’ best players and without question has provided the best value for money of all Liverpool’s 2011 acquisitions.  Considering the plentiful concerns about Bellamy’s physical condition –his knees are reportedly bad enough to prevent him from playing three matches in a row – the contract he signed on Merseyside is for a quite reasonable two years.

In fact, despite only a month ago crowning Sergio Aguero the Premiership’s best signing of 2011, it’s time to reconsider that honour in Bellamy’s favour.  With the difference in transfer fees paid and the disparity in the pair’s respective wages, the title is now the fiery Welshman’s to lose.

As an aside, Bellamy’s success at Liverpool, in concert with defender Nedum “You were such a nice man” Onuoha’s £2.5 million sale to QPR, makes one ponder the validity of City asking so much for sensation-magnet Carlos Tevez.  City have insisted on receiving close to market value for their pugnacious former front man (as well as for other superfluous players Adebayor and Santa Cruz) when they have essentially discarded quality EPL players like Bellamy, Onuoha and Shaun Wright-Phillips for a handful of coppers.

As Tevez has reportedly been fined over £9 million for his repeated indiscretions, his probable profit from any deal (with a signing bonus possibly a percentage of any transfer fee paid) is something City should be hoping to avoid.  This, and possible (though this sounds far-fetched) savings on his wages, mean any substantive monies they receive from his sale should be seen as gravy. 

Given past experience, he is likely to haunt them no matter what fee they may accept for his signature – so the Citizens may as well just move him on and save themselves some more Tevez-induced fiscal heartburn.

The Football Year 2011

Best Moment: Wayne Rooney's overhead kick against Manchester City to cement a derby win and Manchester United's nineteenth domestic title.

Best Team: Barcelona. Although their reign of terrifying beauty may come to an end sooner rather than later if the defense is not reinforced.

Most disappointing Team: The A-League's Adelaide United, despite bringing in quality during the offseason (Dario Vidosic), last week fired manager Rini Coolen after finding themselves near the table's lower reaches. His replacement is former boss John Kosmina, who will undoubtedly achieve results, but a team which had high expectations are unlikely to trouble Playoffs predictors this year.

Best Manager: Napoli manager Walter Mazzarri led the Partinopei to the Champions League behind the attacking triumvirate of Marek Hamsik, Ezequiel Lavezzi and one Edinson Cavani. While only sitting in seventh position at the moment, he also masterminded qualification for the Champions League last sixteen from a very tricky group. Honorable mentions go to Juventus' Antonio Conte and Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini, who started the year amongst the favourites to be sacked. Mancini loses out as his team drew a tough Champions League group but should still have qualified for the second round.

Man of the year: Mario Balotelli, for his emergence as a figure both of awesome talent and application, but also for having a sense of fun so all-encompassing that he's gone from villain to hero in the course of six months. His resume this year includes throwing darts at youth team players, popping out for an iron and coming back with a Scalextric track, attempting a back-heel in a friendly against the LA Galaxy, nearly burning his home down when lighting fireworks in his bathroom and unveiling a T-shirt after scoring saying "Why always me"?

Signing of 2011: Even though he's unlikely to win any popularity contests and seems to attract headlines at the same rate as Balotelli, Luis Suarez scores goals more regularly than the guy he replaced, Fernando Torres. Runner-up goes to Manchester City's Sergio Aguero, who looks already to be the one of, if not the, best striker in the Premiership.

Unheralded Signing of 2011: Mauro Rosales of the Seattle Sounders was a magnificent pickup and headlined the MLS Team of the Year. Staying in North America, the Montreal Impact selecting Justin Mapp from Philadelphia in the Expansion Draft.

Worst Signing: It's harsh given his status as the reigning World Cup Most Valuable Player, but Inter Milan's acquisition of Diego Forlan - under the short and star-cross'd reign of manger Gian Piero Gasperini - to replace Samuel Eto'o was bemusing given his ineligibility to play for Inter in European competition.

Most stubborn resistance to commonsense: FIFA's refusal to countenance the use of technology - especially on the goal-line - belies the fact that journalists, players and administrators insist it's needed due to the increased speed of the game.

Goal of the Year: Benji de Ceulaer's strike for Lokeren against Brugge in the Belgian League was a combination of skill, touch and positioning.

Gaffe of the year: Theyab Awana's back-heel penalty for the UAE against Lebanon wasn't necessarily a gaffe per-se, but it did lead to his substitution for showboating only minutes after being introduced. The UAE youngster died in a road accident only two months later.

Poorest Managerial Fit: It has to be Gasperini, who replaced Leonardo, who superseded Rafael Benitez, who inherited the blue side of Milan from Jose Mourinho. Gasperini set the Nerazzuri up in a 3-4-3, while not having defenders mobile enough to pull it off.

Explosion of 2011: David Silva has always been known as a talent, but this year he emerged as perhaps one of the world's top three footballers. He is justifiably favourite for the English Footballer of the Year award and has kept big-money signing Samir Nasri out of the first team picture at Manchester's Etihad stadium.

Implosion of 2011: After surrendering to Stoke City 5-0 in the FA Cup semi-final at the end of last season, Bolton Wanderers have struggled badly as key players have been injured or badly out of touch and star centre-back Gary Cahill is counting down his days at the Reebok Stadium. The Trotters look like they'll need a lot of luck to escape relegation.

Villain of 2011: Could it be anyone else but Carlos Tevez? The world's most malcontent footballer attracts controversy like no other. After losing his starting place to the firing Edin Dzeko and Kun Aguero, he - allegedly - refused to enter a game and has hardly been seen since. Some big European clubs are interested in the diminutive Argentine, but aren't prepared to stump up the cash City would like.

Football's crisis-magnets

How well do we think of our footballers? Inspired by the wonderful webcomic XKCD, I decided to find out which players are represented most negatively on the internet.

The table below shows how frequently a polarising football figure's name arises in an internet article which also features one of these "negative" words: crisis, saga, scandal, row, gaffe, controversy.  For example, nearly 41% of all articles about Wayne Rooney mentioned the word crisis (an astonishing 11,100,000 - approximately).

Player	Total hits	Crisis	Saga	Scandal	Row	Gaffe	Controversy
Wayne Rooney	27200000	40.81%	24.67%	5.48%	53.31%	2.69%	25.40%
Carlos Tevez	14700000	64.69%	38.85%	24.76%	40.41%	3.48%	21.50%
Sepp Blatter	7690000	41.48%	13.52%	35.37%	67.23%	2.51%	27.44%
John Terry	14600000	44.52%	23.29%	4.51%	41.85%	3.47%	24.45%
Zlatan Ibrahimovic	15000000	26.33%	14.33%	17.93%	22.00%	2.55%	12.67%
Jose Mourinho	25800000	39.53%	19.07%	20.23%	32.40%	2.09%	17.02%
David Beckham	60100000	43.93%	40.93%	5.96%	64.73%	2.11%	27.12%
Ronaldo	214000000	31.64%	27.94%	15.05%	17.66%	0.93%	5.00%

The individual words were then googled (along with the player names) to evaluate which words were most associated with which public figure.

Obviously this is hardly definitive, considering the negative word doesn't have to specifically refer to the player, just be featured in the same article. Further complicating matters was that the word "row" has two meanings. Ronaldo was intended to mean "El Fenomeno", the Brazilian legend, but invariably captures much content referring to Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo.

Carlos Tevez - the bizarro Bosman

So with the latest Carlos Tevez saga in full flight - twelve individual articles posted on the Guardian's football site within the past 24 hours, nine of which made their front page - it's now time to ask what, if any, value contracts still retain in football. The cynics among us will automatically say only "to maintain a player's sell-on value". It could even be worse than that.

City's Argentine thorn could keep a snit of contract lawyers employed and happy for months. (Yes, I just made up a new collective noun and I'm quite proud of it)

Essentially, Tevez's alleged refusal to play amounts to an employee telling his boss "I'm not going to go into work because I middle management isn't using me the way I want". Try that today - I dare you - and see where it gets you.

Although it must be emphasised that Tevez's "misunderstanding" story has a whiff (and it may just be that) of truth, Manchester City have little recourse other than to suspend or fine their erstwhile captain. Both are money saving moves, rather than actions which recompense Sheikh Mansour for the star's apparent immaturity.

Player's contracts should have in them clauses which state clearly that the player must play when available and selected - or face suitable legal action. When said player has the talent and earns the sums that Tevez does, withholding pay has little effect. He is now almost irreparably damaged as a City commodity - and so will be available at a more cut-price rate.

The manner in which contracts are disregarded by players who think themselves underpaid or undervalued stinks of Collective Bargaining Minimalism that somewhere, Peter Costello is getting aroused. Before Kevin Rudd's 2007 landslide election victory, it was leaked that the then-Treasurer hoped to extend the nation's "Work Choices" bill so that everything other than minimum wage was negotiable.

Gradually and with only occasional outcry, footballers' contracts have essentially evolved into the reverse. Terms and salary are locked in, but outside that it appears the individual rather than - his nominal employer - has "hand". Again, this is hardly revelatory. But it's worth pointing out that, should Tevez be sacked from his employment contract, Manchester City would:

     a) not see full return on the 25.5 million transfer fee they paid to acquire his services,    

     b) not receive any transfer fee when seeing him play for another club,

     c) have paid his now-exorbitant wages for 2-plus years,

     d) allow him to leave a city he disdains without financial penalty,

     e) see him the most desired free-agent in football history, able to name his wages to play at a club of his choice.

It is in Manchester City's interests to sell him, yet by announcing (as they had to) his suspension they have effectively cleaved his resale value in half. Again, they are out of pocket. The contract that Tevez signed on agreeing to play for Manchester City now so favours the player that it's outmoded and essentially worthless.

It is time for footballer's contracts to more mirror standard employment deals. Were I to compromise my employer's profitability - especially by such great sums - I would expect to be dismissed. Additionally, if there were three replacements who could do my job at equal or better standards, I should fear. Whatever option they choose to pursue - beyond retracting some of his already-paid wages, which is sketchy legally - Manchester City come out behind on this deal.

Jean-Marc Bosman must be crying into his claret - his stand was needed to change the domination that clubs held over their playing staff. Accusations of slavery are of course ridiculous, but not so ridiculous that credible sources like Sepp Blatter aren't fooled. What Bosman did for player empowerment, Tevez has taken so far that he has become the inverse, a Bizarro Bosman whose actions damage player credibility more than aid it.

There should be enough middle ground (as opposed to, say, the NBA) for both sides to be satisfied. Can't we all just get along?

English Premier League Season Preview

If you want in-depth analysis, visit The Guardian. If it's startling stat-facts you're after, then it's OptaJoe you're looking for. Amusement? Try the Football Ramble. But here, after a summer in which an awful lot was made of ridiculously little, is Balanced Sports' Q & A preview to the English Premier League 2011-12.

courtesy: bleacherreport.com

Arsenal: Where's the love for Arsene Wenger?

The Arsenal faithful want to lynch someone - anyone - for their second-half fades in recent seasons. With Wenger's refusal to reinforce the Arsenal backline to the fans satisfaction, Cesc looking to leave and Nasri increasingly likely to follow, it's liable the Professor is the posse's first choice. Has anyone considered he may have a point? Injury has robbed him of a first-choice central defensive partnership of Vermaelen and Djourou, while Wojciech Szczęsny could have a Joe-Hart-at-Birmingham breakout.

Aston Villa: How much does it matter that McLeish is as popular as a dead polecat?

Due to the dour football his Birmingham City squads chundered out last year, popular opinion of McLeish in Birmingham is like Greece's economy: toxic. This staid mindset, plus Shay Given, may be just the thing Villa need to rectify ageing Central Defensive duo Collins & Dunne's 2011 propensity for mishap. They won't uproot the redwoods, but do look capable of counterpunching behind Charles N'Zogbia, Marc Albrighton and Darren Bent.

Blackburn: Do Venky's care about football?

In a word, no. Or if they do, they've got a weird way of showing it: sacking the effective-on-a-budget Sam Allardyce, commiting ₤5 million to a transfer fund which would take the team "into the Champions' League", frequently summoning manager Steve Kean to India and announcing their interest in every has-been on the planet. They should care though, because if this is the publicity grab it seems, they'll be aghast to see how much revenue (and support and merchandising and sponsorship and ... ) drops on relegation to the Championship with a threadbare squad.

Bolton: What did they do to anger the Gods of broken legs?

Who knows? With promising Chung-Yong Lee sporting a double leg break and attacking right-back Tyrone Mears suffering a similar injury, boss Owen Coyle must looking for a Harry Potter-style Time Turner to re-live the past two weeks. Creative US international Stuart Holden broke his leg had his leg broken in March and probably won't be back until the new year. Without these three cogs and looking short a striker, it's questionable they can create enough goals to capitalise on his preferred passing game.

Chelsea: How many times will we see André Villas-Boas referred to as the New Mourinho?

At a rough guess, 547 by Christmas and the under/over for the season is at 999.5. While he boasts lengthy connections to the Special One, AVB seems to be his own man and is charged with disarming and deconstructing the player cabal that runs the backroom at Chelsea - a unity engendered by Jose. He'll need specialised bomb defusal skills to do so as aggravating John Terry got first Jose and then Big Phil Scolari fired.

Everton: When will David Moyes' eyes finally pop out of his head for good?

It must be frustrating for the ginger man - to consistently assemble good players only to see them want to leave. And after ten years at Goodison Park, he's hardly a Bright Young Thing any more. He's happy in Liverpool, but for a man with tremendous competitive drive the sell-to-buy philosophy must be wearing. He'll probably stay with the Toffees for ages - because at this stage neither he, nor the club, can do better. It's a saddening state of affairs in Mersey's blue half.

Fulham: Where to now?

Fulham once again contest the Europa League after Roy Hodgson led them on a wild ride two seasons ago. Much as they loved that run, fans are already wondering if a second trip to watch their boys in the Ukraine is worth the outlay. The experienced Martin Jol has had success nearly everywhere he's been, however he must confront an ageing squad that takes longer to recover from Thursday night matches. Signing Palermo's teen Patjim Kasami should help, but other newbie John Arne Riise is already the wrong side of 30. Is two days' break enough?

Liverpool: Is King Kenny the Messiah?

The essence to success in video game Football Manager is simple: keep players happy. You do so by winning, praise and goals. While FM bears as much resemblance to the Real Thing as a smoked meat sandwich does to a hot dog, it does underline Kenny Dalglish's early "success" at Liverpool. He's played the kids, signed enough multi-skilled central midfielders to start his own cloning facility and given them targets to aim at in Luis Suarez, Andy Carroll and a reinvigorated Dirk Kuyt. To his credit, Kenny understands it's not rocket science but simple Human Resources.

Man. City: Is it finally my time?

Perhaps. As always the Citizens' fortunes rest on Carlos Tevez - only now, they don't depend on his on-pitch strut. A successful season behind Sergio Aguero, David Silva, Vincent Kompany and even Wesley Sneijder hangs on their ability to rid the dressing room of a malcontent and potential unsettling influence. If he stays, Tevez will contribute mightily but - because of his preference to work up front alone - perhaps at the cost of playing one of Aguero or Dzeko. If he leaves, he'll be replaced perhaps by that little-'n'-large show with Johnson & Silva out wide. It all sounds mouthwatering. Anything less than a Title challenge will disappoint.

Man. United: More important: Cleverley, Welbeck, Jones, Smalling, Gibson, Carrick or De Gea?

Surprisingly enough it's Tom Cleverley, who spent last season on loan at Wigan. Rewarded for an excellent Charity Shield with a call-up to the England squad, he - not Darron Gibson or Michael Carrick - is earmarked as Paul Scholes' successor. While David De Gea is young, he's also a work in progress and, as former coach Abel Resino says, will peak in a decade. He can't be expected to to be more than solid in his first year - especially as he doesn't speak English. Ferguson has invested for the far future between the sticks.

Part two will be published tomorrow.

A-League? No, it's all about Harry.

Harry Kewell.

A show-pony. A drama queen. The best football player to come out of Australia.

Just the mention of his name prompts the football fan to opine. It's impossible not to, given his remarkably high-profile successes and failures. The recent debate over a possible move to the Australian A-League has once more forced even the non-football fans to choose a side of the fence - for or against Harry.

The move didn't materialise amidst reports Kewell's salary demands were met by the A-League's biggest two clubs, Sydney FC and the Melbourne Victory, but his requests to the Football Federation Australia (who administer the league) were not. Those demands allegedly included a percentage of the gate for increased attendances his appearance likely would encourage. His manager Bernie Mandic last week nixed any possible return to Australia, saying 32 year-old Kewell would pursue further European opportunities.

The reaction from Joe Public was almost overwhelmingly negative, prompting the hashtag #KewellALeagueDemands to trend on Twitter as amateur wits made increasingly ludicrous requests. Australians, never the most patient or forgiving of peoples, have very little time for "it's all about me" types. It was taken in fun by Kewell and his wife Sheree Murphy, but still exemplifies the scorn such demand generated.

And more than any other combination of four words - more even than "Injury plagued Aussie footballer" the words "It's all about me", define Harry Kewell. At seventeen he was the darling of the Australian soccer community with two goals in the World Cup qualifying playoff loss to Iran (hardly an upset as the partisan video suggets), he married the soap-star princess and played, sorry, rehabbed for one of the world's great clubs, Liverpool, in a country where the cult of celebrity is worshipped by many above almost all else.

How else would you describe him after his comments concerning a galling red card in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa? "The guy has killed my World Cup" doesn't reflect his unavailability despite an obvious important role for the Socceroos, but how it affects Harry. Mandic shouldn't be blamed for his role and neither should Kewell - Mandic is just doing his job, while as a football-hungry public demanded identification, home-grown Harry was our best association with the World Game and thus the unholy combination of Australian expectation/respect and English tabloids created the persona Harry Kewell now proffers.

Who are we to blame a young(ish) man for wanting it all? A family life AND a well-paid football career - sound familiar? It should, because it's nearly exactly the same situation as thelatest Carlos Tevez dilemma, only in reverse. Kewell is content with family life - indeed, Australia would be preferable to Turkey, Russia or even Germany - but isn't able to meet his financial demands. And while Tevez's constant "Look at Carlos" act has worn thin and his methods are dubious, Harry's act is walking a similarly fine line.

By asking for a percentage of any increased gate takings, Harry Kewell and Bernie Mandic are asking for a degree of responsibility that few have shouldered in the fledgling competition. Indeed, while Archie Thompson, Nicky Carle and most notably Robbie Fowler have tried to lift the competition on their shoulders, onlyDwight Yorke has managed to do so successfully. The combination of responsibility doesn't usually rest well on the shoulders of someone whose first priority - and he's hardly alone in this - is himself.

In a business based on exposure, both Kewell and Tevez benefit from their profiles; Tevez also so through his talent. Harry Kewell has become the object of scorn because his profile appeals to a much smaller population: that of Australia, England and possibly Turkey. It is only right he should seek the best deal for himself within that market.

And the FFA is perfectly within it's rights to refuse to accommodate those demands. Partly because even Kewell's salary would further imperil already-struggling A-League teams and therefore further payments based on increased attendance would make even less fiscal sense. It just isn't good business for Ben Buckley and his offsiders and so the likelihood is you'll see Harry next pop up in the hoops of Celtic, Queens Park Rangers or Kayserispor.

It's almost certain that Harry Kewell will perform a valedictory tour in the A-League, displaying as a marquee player some of that dazzle which won him so many admirers so long ago. It would be good business sense to do so - but not for another contract period or so, while bigger dollars, less expectation and better competition await. With those business aspects kept firmly in mind, the chances of Harry Kewell joining the A-League this year were never great, but the publicity certainly was.

An Apologetic for Carlos Tevez

An apologetic ... for Carlos Tevez? Just days after a scathing open letter? The same guy writing both? I guess stranger things have happened - remember Julian Faubert once played for Real Madrid.

Less than a week ago, I suggested Carlos Tevez finally "end his Manchester hell" and return once and for all to South America, the Copa Libertadores and probably a smaller pay packet. Many of the same sentiments which prompted that letter remain: the "poor little old Carlos" attitude he attempts to drum up - often using his family to do so, the fact his de facto posture when negotiating almost anything with his club is a "they don't respect me" and the omnipresence of the positive proof of every conspiracy theory ever, Kia Joorabchian.

courtesy: thatsagoal.com

In the wake of an unsuccessful ₤35 million bid tabled by Brazilian club Corinthians, a few more details should be highlighted. Football is a business dependent on the consumer. Manchester City even moreso. Leaving aside ticket sales for a moment, sponsorship dollars (not real concern for City amid their Emirati sponsorships) depend on results, for which City almost exclusively rely upon him. Shirt and other apparel sales, TV revenue and global exposure are all derived from star players and there are few stars in England with either the marketability or skill of Carlos Tevez. And this doesn't even consider the fact Manchester City face an uphill battle to match the worldwide popularity of their cross-town rivals from the Red half, Manchester United.

As City expand operations from a second-division club only eleven years ago, to a "safe" mid-table team, to the Champions' League and finally - perhaps inevitably - to the Premiership title, much of that growth has come on the back of Carlos Tevez. Notwithstanding he was the first superstar to sign on for City, his goalscoring punch and (perhaps more crucially) global reputation as one of the best in the world make him perhaps the most required player in the English Premiership. Were City to replace him with, say, Karim Benzema or Gonzalo Higuain the results may even out - but the club would lose significant promotional monies because both potential replacements don't have the global profile of the Citizens' current captain.

So Tevez and Kia Joorabchian should be congratulated for their ability to play the media to their greater advantage; no-one creates the proverbial storm in a teacup like they do. Football is a game where the business side is based built around visibility - on club and personal levels. Why else would Champions' League revenues be so high? Carlos Tevez is one of the most visible players in Europe. While the methods the pair employ may rub against the grain, they are the most obvious manager/player combination the game has recently seen. This means both are doing their jobs - Tevez on the pitch and Joorabchian off it.

It's not Kia Joorabchian's job to make Carlos Tevez liked, it's to increase or maintain his player's visibility as a star. In doing so, he improves his own financial situation. By agitating for a move every six months, he has performed admirably - It may even come as somewhat of a relief for the agent that Man City rejected yesterday's bid. His methods may be distasteful, but they are most certainly effective. While praise for the dynamic duo would be disingenuous, grunted respect would not be.

Presence forms a large portion of celebrity. If contributing nothing else to society, shows such as Australia's Next Top Model, UK Idol and X-Factor have taught us that. In a sport driven by television and marketing dollars, a top-line footballer's role includes more than just banging in twenty goals a season. Kia Joorabchian seems to have recognised this earlier than most and therefore "plays the game" at a more advanced level than other powerbrokers. Like it or no - and not many actively like Carlos Tevez any more - football is a business and fans are no longer the lifeblood but just consumers.

As yet another Tevez Saga - the two words go together like "Rob Green" and "Howler" - rattles on, the outraged masses may have misjudged Tevez and Joorabchian. It's hard to mistake greed, but often much harder to recognise business talent emerging before their time.

An Open Letter to Carlos Tevez

Dear Carlos Tevez,

For five years now you've been a shedload of trouble for the entire English Premier League. With this letter, I'd like to invite you to please stop moaning about the loneliness of Northern England and return to Argentina as you have for so long suggested you'd like.

The biannual farce which into which the "Carlos Tevez submits Transfer Request" headline has degenerated - which while admittedly spurring me to write this letter - has become a parody of a a parody, like a Monty Python sketch which starts funny but then feels as if it never ends. While we all understand how trying it is to be parted from friends and family (some of us have even shared your heartbreaking isolation in a country in which we do not speak the language), complaining every six months about a situation into which you walked of your own volition has turned what begun a sympathetic posture into a cynical one.

Please understand I'm not trying to minimise the pain of separation from your daughters at all. It's just the predictability with which this storm-in-a-teacup occurs means you have exhausted any supply of public sympathy for your plight. (And "earning" 200,000+ a week should preclude us from using the world "plight" anyway). Unless it is for obviously laudable reasons a transfer request is often met with scorn from your current team's support base. After being trotted out several times now, the recent spate of "I miss my daughters" has morphed from a tragic reality of a footballer's life into seemingly a ploy where - though undoubtedly true you miss your girls - the aim seems to be directing public ire away from you in a situation almost entirely of your own creation.  If this sounds familiar, think "Bomber" Thompson.

Welcomed to "Manchester".  Will he be farewelled as fondly?

It was said of the great basketballer Shaquille O'Neal that, with the exception of his last teams Boston and Cleveland, whenever he moved clubs, he did so amidst acrimonious circumstance. The same could be said of you - at Boca, at Corinthians, West Ham and finally Manchester United you have left more enemies than friends. Which, on the face of it, is really quite sad and perhaps - just perhaps - gives the public eye a big glimpse of your inner happiness. In a game where one often has to look out for themselves first, you and Kia Joorabchian have done so admirably; but if your latest statements are to be believed, it hasn't contented you.

Many of us have had to move intercontinentally. It is exceedingly difficult, though ultimately rewarding - it allows us to grow, to see that life is much larger than the small corners of existence we previously inhabited. Some of us are rewarded romantically, spiritually or even fiscally for the pain of separation.

You certainly have earned signficant monies as a result of your footballing success - so why not put some of that where your cakehole is? Rather than having said sweet baked good and eating it too, take (one mother of) a pay cut to play in South America - for none of us are able to figure out how Madrid or Milan - or, heaven forbid, Chelsea - are closer to Argentina than Millionaire's row in Cheshire. It's not that we don't feel for you, but many of us think you're trying to use this situation to your gain. It seems your position is that you are disadvantaged by playing for City; a move to Real or Inter would be "fair".

Unfortunately, that is a posture for the misguided.

In careers, we are forced to take the good with the bad. In football, if you want the big bucks and the best competition, you are forced to move. It is a flat fact of existence at the top level of almost any profession. Sacrifices must be made for a career - or for family. And while we applaud you for your devotion to your daughters, we also implore you to put up, or shut up. For the ball is in your court.

Sincerely,

A very bored former admirer.

The author would like all who read this to know that he has no truck with Monty Python and indeed thinks they were amongst (if not THE) the greatest comedians of all time.

Scoring Stats - Dependable European forwards

A scoring stat is defined as any goal or assist and through this combination we have so far investigated how reliant certain clubs across Europe are on star individuals. So which players actually contributed the most to the success of their teams in season 2010-2011?

Unsurprisingly, the most dominant forces by way of contributing to their teams forces came from Germany or Italy. In fact, there is a definite "continental" flavour to the players who contribute most to their teams: of the nineteen players who contributed to over 40% of their teams scores with a goal or assist, only one came from England - Manchester City's Carlos Tevez. This could be a function of his manager's heritage and tactics or simply more evidence to suggest his vital nature to the Citizens' attack. Of those nineteen individuals, there were six forwards from Serie A, seven from La Liga and five who played in the Bundesrepublik.

Bologna's captain Marco Di Vaio was statistically the player most involved in his team's goals throughout Europe, while relegated Frankfurt were perhaps too reliant on the goals of Theofanis Gekas. The full table can be found at Balanced Sports' Scoring Stats page. All nineteen players who contributed to over forty percent of their team's goals can be found in the table below:

League	Team	Player	% Contribution
Serie A	Bologna	Marco Di Vaio	0.600
Bundesliga	Frankfurt	Theofanis Gekas	0.581
Serie A	Napoli	Edinson Cavani	0.542
Serie A	Udinese	Antonio Di Natale	0.538
Bundesliga	Freiburg	Papiss Demba Cisse	0.537
La Liga	Barcelona	Lionel Messi	0.516
La Liga	Real Madrid	Cristiano Ronaldo	0.490
Serie A	Inter Milan	Samuel Eto'o	0.435
EPL	Manchester City	Carlos Tevez	0.433
La Liga	Villarreal	Giuseppe Rossi	0.426
Bundesliga	Koln	Milivoje Novakovic	0.426
Bundesliga	Schalke 04	Raul	0.421
Serie A	Chievo Verona	Sergio Pellissier	0.421
La Liga	Mallorca	Pierre Webo	0.415
Serie A	Brescia	Andrea Caracciolo	0.412
Bundesliga	Hannover	Didier Ya Konan	0.408
Serie A	Real Sociedad	Xabi Prieto	0.408
Serie A	Sevilla	Alvarao Negredo	0.403
Serie A	Real Zaragoza	Gabi	0.400
Average	Wigan	Charles N'Zogbia	0.350

While very few of these numbers have changed significantly since first sight, the greatest surprise is seeing FC Cologne forward Novakovic so high in the rankings. The Slovenian scored twenty goals in a contract drive which saw him named the league's third highest scorer.

Koln's forward press

In April when we first evaluated how important individuals were to their clubs by this admittedly simple measure, there was another representative from the Cathedral city who made the top fifteen most important, forward Lukas Podolski. That Novakovic unseated him first as Koln's statistically most important forward isn't necessarily suprising - Podolski contributed to 43.4% of his club's scoring only six weeks prior to these readings, while Novakovic was involved in in 42.6% at the end of the season. This could be due to one of three reasons - a slow (read: injured) start to the season by Novakovic, a remarkable finish by the same player, or a spectacular drop-off from Podolski.

What it can't be is one providing assists for the other to finish - they totalled seven assists between them. What it does starkly indicate is how little scoring the Billy Goats received from their midfield - Podolski and Novakovic managed between themselves to contribute to 78.7% of all FC Koln's goals.

Which leads us to ask - as we did in April - what the breakdown is between scores and assists across Europe. The following table lays out the differences between the leagues over the period of six weeks. As you can see, forwards playing in Germany and Italy took on increased passing responsibilities while team leaders in La Liga started to look more for the goal than the assist.

League	Goals	Assists	Percentage Goals
EPL - April	174	105	62.37
EPL - Season end	216	123	63.72
La Liga - April	210	89	70.23
La Liga - Season end	290	99	74.55
Serie A - April	204	86	70.34
Serie A - Season end	234	109	68.22
Bundesliga - April	193	63	75.39
Bundesliga - Season end	221	92	70.61

In Part three of our investigation into Scoring Stats, we'll look at which players are the most effective in Europe - who provides the largest boost to their club not over the course of a season, but per game. In the meantime, for all the raw data, visit Balanced Sports Scoring Stats page.

Scoring Stats - European Goalscoring Trends

When we first examined the most important marksmen in the Big Four leagues, we looked at which players in Europe were the most crucial to their teams. This was done according to Scoring Stats, a measure of a player's combined Goals and Assists, measured as a percentage of their team's total league goals for the season. Then, Serie A stars Marco Di Vaio and Edinson Cavani topped the European Scoring Stats tables, each contributing to over 63% of their club's goals.

Clubs in Italy and Germany - as well as the big two Spanish teams, Real Madrid and Barcelona - were much more likely to focus their offense around one player, as of the top twenty players by Percentage contribution to their team's goals, eight came from Italy and seven from Germany. In early April in Serie A, an average of 38.5% of all a team's goals came from that one focal player; in the Bundesliga it dropped to 36.77%. The English Premier League was by far least reliant on star men, their average contribution by a team leader (32.4%) propped up by Carlos Tevez's remarkable 50% contribution to Manchester City's cause.

Obviously this measure is highly swung in favour of forwards. Although some midfielders - such as Hoffenheim's Gylfi Sigurdsson - or defenders like Leighton Baines led their club, often that was the result of their free-kick taking duties (Baines recording sixteen total Scoring Stats, eleven of which were assists, either from crosses or set pieces).

English Premier League: A balanced attack triumphs

At the end of the Season, numbers didn't change much:

LEAGUE	Average Goals Per Team		Average Goals per Game		Avg %
Timeframe	April	Season End	April	Season End	April	Season End
Premiership	42.6	53.15	1.38	1.4	32.41	31.89
La Liga	40.4	52.1	1.35	1.37	35.38	37.33
Serie A	36.05	47.75	1.16	1.26	38.58	35.92
Bundesliga	40.17	49.67	1.43	1.46	36.77	35.01

Where Avg % is the average contribution to a team's total goals by the player with the most total goals + assists. Please note the Bundesliga is an eighteen team league (34 games), not a twenty-team league.

While most clubs decreased their reliance on their star men - in general - over the last six weeks of the season, only La Liga increased. This is in part due to the number of injuries suffered - these figures are always likely to be high at the start of a season and lower towards the end as more players get on the scoresheet and others either fall out rotations or receive injuries. England's total decreased as Carlos Tevez who, with only six weeks remaining in the season, had scored or delivered the assist for half of the Citizens' goals. His importance to league numbers is exemplified with the English percentage dropping by half a percent - because he missed just a month.

Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo: A cut above

Once again, European football was dominated by Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. While Ronaldo managed to better his opponent's total, having fifty Scoring Stats in the league to Messi's forty-nine, his breakdown was typical of a centre-forward rather than the all-purpose forward into which he has morphed. He registered a 4:1 goals-to-assists ratio, while creative maestro Messi averaged slightly under three assists for every five goals. That he contributed 51.6% of Barca's stats is remarkable and due to their scoring 95 goals for the BBVA season; Ronaldo's Madrid scored 105 goals, meaning his percentage is slightly decreased (49.0%).

To remove those two (and replace them with "average" replacements) is telling:

LEAGUE	Average Goals Per Team		Average Goals per Game		Avg %
Timeframe	April	Season End	April	Season End	April	Season End
Premiership	42.6	53.15	1.38	1.4	32.41	31.89
La Liga	40.4	52.1	1.35	1.37	35.38	37.33
La Liga - 2	36.5	48.9	1.22	1.29	33.59	32.92
Serie A	36.05	47.75	1.16	1.26	38.58	35.92
Bundesliga	40.17	49.67	1.43	1.46	36.77	35.01

This can only be considered while keeping several factors in mind. Firstly, should Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi be injured, while the best players in the world, they would undoubtedly be replaced by someone above replacement level. (As a matter of interest "replacement level" is approximately twelve goals and four assists. The player with Scoring Stats most closely resembling those numbers is in-demand Espanyol striker Pablo Osvaldo). That is, this probably incorrectly assumes that Messi and Ronaldo are solely responsible for those goals, which may be true in part but definitely not 100% true. Secondly, it emphasises simply how great Cristiano Ronaldo was during the run-in as he chased Hugo Sanchez's Los Merengues scoring record.

You can, however, see how much Barcelona and Real Madrid inflate Spanish averages. Should they (heaven forbid) undergo financial meltdown, the tenor of the entire Spanish League will be changed forever.

In Part Two, we'll examine which players are the most crucial to their individual teams.

For full details, visit Balanced Sports' Scoring Stats page. There, you'll find totals for each team in Europe as well as for all four English divisions.