Mario Balotelli joins AC Milan, continues to confuse

Many teams have improved themselves this transfer window.  There have been short-term additions like Sporting KC forward Kei Kamara’s six-month audition with Norwich City, bargains, as well as deals with a view to a long term future (see Zaha, Wilfried and Shea, Brek). 

There has even been the odd case of addition by subtraction.

The most prominent deal of this type involves Mario Balotelli.  His two-plus years playing for Manchester City had exhausted his employers and yesterday he was sent to the red side of Milan for a fee approximating £17 million.

That such a talent as Balotelli was released by City without argument is a sign of the disdain in which he is held at the Etihad campus.  The negatives finally outweighed the positives, with the final straw perhaps coming four weeks ago as the temperamental forward became involved in a physical altercation with coach – and his most prominent backer – Roberto Mancini.

While the deal may help the City dressing room coalesce and focus on overhauling crosstown rivals Manchester United, it also rids the club of their most gifted player.  With Balotelli, there are no absolutes – he every statement about him must be accompanied by a “but”, an “if” or a “when”.

Mario Balotelli is a player with a presence so large that you can’t judge anything he does from only one angle.  He is a colourful, 3D character in a world that paint its characters like Steamboat Willy.  This might be his greatest hurdle in keeping popular sentiment positive: football media often portrays its subjects in unforgiving black and white.

He is the most talented Italian striker to emerge since Antonio Cassano (at least) and also a man who exemplifies persistent problems with authority.  He’s a genius, and a madman.  A word or a sentence isn’t enough to articulate the truth of Mario Balotelli.

A three-dimensional outlook is also the only way to evaluate his transfer to the Fashion City.  He will win games for the Rossoneri, but also frustrate.  It’s a win for Manchester City, but also a loss – talents like Mario emerge twice a decade.  How very Balotelli.

Abramovich, Benitez and Guardiola: bizarre love triangle

In 2007, Michael Voss, a former Brownlow medallist, inspirational club captain and widely-touted Premiership coach in waiting, had announced he wanted a head-coaching gig for the following season.  In quick response, three AFL clubs fired incumbent coaches to obtain the hottest leadership property available in years.  

When fallen league heavyweights Carlton effectively vacated their coaching staff only days after arch-rivals Essendon dispatched their coach of twenty-seven years, Essendon officials were overheard leaving Pagan’s final exit interview saying “They want the same guy we want”.  No-one had to clarify who that guy was.  Perhaps unwittingly – but probably not – Voss had cast a shadow over the entire league landscape that eventually cost three coaches their jobs.

Neither team succeeded in employing Voss, who went on to take over his former club, the Brisbane Lions.  This is perhaps to their benefit, as Voss’ five-year coaching record stands at 32 wins, 53 losses and a tie.

Once in a while, a coaching property so desirable enters the marketplace and every club with delusions of grandeur fall over themselves to acquire him.  Proverbial dead men walking walk no longer.  The spectre of the available coach stalks the landscape until he commits to a contract – usually at the club of his choice.  His resume is so powerful, so compelling that any destination club hedges their personnel bets ... just in case they get a chance to employ that one mystical, alchemical coach.

No, that coach is not Harry Redknapp – no matter how much he’d like it to be.

It’s Pep Guardiola.  Despite currently “on sabbatical” in New York, his avatar haunts the high-paid underperformers.  This week, interim Chelsea boss (come on, admit it – was he really anything else?) Roberto Di Matteo was dismissed only months after leading Chelsea to their first Champions League title.  While his team had underperformed in November, the phenomenon is hardly unusual.  Where Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich was in love with Mourinho, fascinated by Andre Villas-Boas and is infatuated by Guardiola, he barely even liked Di Matteo.

courtesy: mirror.co.uk

The new Chelsea manager is Rafael Benitez, a former Champions League winner himself, who agreed to coach the Blues only until the end of this season; in so doing, he has embraced his destiny as Abramovich’s rebound fling while the oligarch continues his unrequited love affair with the former Barcelona manager.

It’s not just the Blues of London who find themselves sweaty with anticipation of a glance from Pep: Roberto Mancini should probably look upon Txiki Begiristain’s appointment as Man City football director with dismay, Guardiola’s “philosophy” apparently mirrors that of Arsene Wenger, while Sir Alex Ferguson is thought to prefer Guardiola as his successor at Old Trafford.  Quiet overtures have been received from the Milan twins, AC and Inter and reports have emerged today that Brazil kind of fancy a dapper bald guy to succeed Mano Menezes.

Guardiola has unconsciously cast an enormous shadow over the entire coaching landscape that won’t be dismissed until he signs a contract.  And for this reason, the likes of Andre Villas-Boas, Di Matteo, Benitez – or indeed anyone managing a club with money – will find themselves victim to the whims of chairmen everywhere.

Manchester City's identity crisis

Manchester City's two Premier League games this season have been ... workmanlike.

The new signings ... underwhelming.

The manager ... apparently unsettled.

In spite of this, Manchester City remain the smart choice for this year's Premiership title. Even after managing a victory and a draw after falling behind against promoted Southampton and an inspired Liverpool, City have yet to inspire. In order for them to do so, the scattered approach that's characterised their August needs to disappear before it becomes a problem.

City has looked unstable this term; their centre of defence still hasn't convinced after shopping four goals in two matches and their experimental 3-5-2 formation hasn't been the versatile attacking springboard that manager Roberto Mancini hoped it might. Rumblings continue to emanate from Etihad Stadium that Mancini wants new – pricey – signings opposed somewhat by a boardroom that has adopted a confusing fiscal conservatism.

The club is travelling well, but no doubt things could be more smooth. The club proved last year it has the talent and application to overcome even the most troubled times, however it's imperative the club address this unease before it becomes more problematic.

The present Manchester City team seems from the outside to be struggling with its sense of identity. This is natural, considering so much has changed within the team over the past half-decade – only Joe Hart, Micah Richards and Pablo Zabaleta (just) pre-date the Sheikh Mansour regime. Given the number of personnel and tactical changes the squad has undergone, it's not surprising they might question how they play their best football.

Since August 2008, the club's been first a rest-stop for second-tier superstars like Emmanuel Adebayor, Roque Santa Cruz and Craig Bellamy. Once Mancini arrived, the club then became an indomitable defensive team who burnt opponents with terrier-like forwards like Carlos Tevez. Last season, City started as barnstormers, reverted to defensive type in midseason and finished the year in true come-from-behind style. Added pressure from being league champions – and popularly perceived as being a billionaire's plaything – forces two more elements to this identity crisis.

But which of these – if any – are Manchester City in 2012-13? Which personality suits them best?

A sense of identity always helps a team's performance. This is because it offers certainty to players, removing doubt as to how they play. Underdog. The Bad Boys. Pass and Press. Buying club. Selling club. These are all merely labels, but what labels provide is a sense of certainty and identity. Lacking that assurance in tactics, formations or individual role promotes player confusion and hesitation, while instinct is minimised and key decisions are overthought.

If existential questions on an individual level are vexing, they can become destructive when there's another 30+ elements in the equation. City are hardly the only club in such flux. The same could be said of many clubs that undergo significant change – Spurs, Arsenal, United and Aston Villa. However given the moderate quality of City's opposition (no matter how well Liverpool played) and their gift equaliser from Martin Skrtl, City's lack of cohesion has been quite pronounced.

It seems the lack of a defining identity in the Manchester City squad of August 2012 has manifested as caution. Do the players and managers see themselves as defense-first, offense-first or a football chameleon able to match any team at their gameplan? Defining identity and subsequently adopting an attendant culture is the foremost responsibility of any coach. This means the task is Mancini's alone, a task undermined or distracted by constant public calls for reinforcements.

The season is still young. But it behoves Roberto Mancini to create an identity for his team before it begins to overshadow their wonderful 2012.

The Balotelli Curve

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 When he thrust his spikes into Alex Song's knee, popular opinion finally and perhaps definitively swung against Mario Balotelli. The Italy forward leapt into numerous dangerous challenges during Manchester City's weekend loss to Arsenal and finished the match copping a pointless red card in the tie's waning minutes. He arrived in the sheds to a power of criticism flung from all corners of the football world.

Indeed, the collective noun for public comment on the excesses of football should now be known as a Balotelli of criticism. Furthermore, the amount of public and unsolicited comments could then be measured on the “Balotelli scale”, where Luka Modric asking not to play earns one Mario; Tevez leaving the bench merits four. When someone – probably Tevez – eventually tops the scale's theoretical maximum of five Marios, the internet implodes as if heaved past the event horizon.

The latest Balotelli farce probably earns the player a two-Mario rating. Sure, it was only a compound of (at best) dangerously laissez-faire and (at worst) malicious challenges and an unnecessary/overdue red card; however, it has generated scorn apparently from the ether. While this last escapade has been a long time coming, it becomes evermore apparent that Mario Balotelli has the godlike ability to create from nothing.

Craig Bellamy - the signing of the season?

Everyone loves something for nothing.  In the high-priced world of professional football, the same is even more true.  When in August last year Kenny Dalglish asked Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini nicely for Craig Bellamy, the Liverpool icon became the proud “owner” of one very cheap, slightly-used Welsh forward.

That very cheap, slightly used Welsh forward – who spent last season on loan at his hometown club, Cardiff City – has since been one of the Reds’ best players and without question has provided the best value for money of all Liverpool’s 2011 acquisitions.  Considering the plentiful concerns about Bellamy’s physical condition –his knees are reportedly bad enough to prevent him from playing three matches in a row – the contract he signed on Merseyside is for a quite reasonable two years.

In fact, despite only a month ago crowning Sergio Aguero the Premiership’s best signing of 2011, it’s time to reconsider that honour in Bellamy’s favour.  With the difference in transfer fees paid and the disparity in the pair’s respective wages, the title is now the fiery Welshman’s to lose.

As an aside, Bellamy’s success at Liverpool, in concert with defender Nedum “You were such a nice man” Onuoha’s £2.5 million sale to QPR, makes one ponder the validity of City asking so much for sensation-magnet Carlos Tevez.  City have insisted on receiving close to market value for their pugnacious former front man (as well as for other superfluous players Adebayor and Santa Cruz) when they have essentially discarded quality EPL players like Bellamy, Onuoha and Shaun Wright-Phillips for a handful of coppers.

As Tevez has reportedly been fined over £9 million for his repeated indiscretions, his probable profit from any deal (with a signing bonus possibly a percentage of any transfer fee paid) is something City should be hoping to avoid.  This, and possible (though this sounds far-fetched) savings on his wages, mean any substantive monies they receive from his sale should be seen as gravy. 

Given past experience, he is likely to haunt them no matter what fee they may accept for his signature – so the Citizens may as well just move him on and save themselves some more Tevez-induced fiscal heartburn.

Mario Balotelli to organise Man City's Christmas party

It has come to light that Mario Balotelli is in charge of organizing Manchester City's Christmas party. This could be awesome.

Balotelli's sense of fun, combined with the fact that footballers can party like Charlie Sheen on a bender, To reiterate - this could be awesome. Actually, awesome doesn't cut it - neither do words like epic, disastrous or fantastic.

For noted autocrat Roberto Mancini to entrust his most wayward player with the bureaucracy of such shin-diggery was, alongside human barcoding and a Wigan Athletic clean sheet, a harbinger of the end times.

Apocalyptic could well be the best adjective to describe the event in question.

Christmas parties have been both the undoing of several careers in recent years as managers attempt to curb the fermentation of their richly-assembled squads. Robbie Keane took Spurs teammates to Ireland last season to avoid the gaze of 'Arry Redknapp. He now plays in Los Angeles.

James Beattie was allegedly "nutted" by a naked Tony Pulis when complaining that the Stoke gaffer had cancelled their Christmas party two years ago. Though a quality player, he's now without a club after being moved on shortly after.

Apparently, this is serious business.

Incidents like bowling up at a local school to talk to bullies, driving into a women's prison "too see what it was like", throwing darts at youth-teamers and telling a cop he had 5000 pounds on his car seat "because I can" indicate Balotelli's freedom of expression. Certainly, alcohol hasn't played a role in any of his past misdemeanours.

What could possibly go wrong? Twenty-five millionaire footballers who like a drink, organized by a man who could be an event planner for Cirque du Soleil? The blogosphere has nearly imploded with speculation: dwarf tossing, cheese-chasing, and the extinction of all known forms of life could well occur.

Christmas is a time for giving. All I ask this year is for is video footage.

Mario Balotelli back-heel: Where's the fun?

I'm sure your mum said, like mine, that a joke's only funny when everyone's laughing. In forgetting Mum's golden rule, Mario Balotelli has drawn heat from his manager Roberto Mancini and teammate Nigel de Jong. His attempted back-heel goal from close range against MLS side Los Angeles Galaxy earned him an 31st minute substitution and worldwide internet headlines which arrive less than a week after Emirati international Theyab Awana successfully backheeled a penalty in a friendly match against Lebanon.

Perhaps it was disrespectful. Impetuous - yes, stupid - OK, yeah, but direspectful - only if opponent are really intense (and this is football, so let's not discount this option). Maybe both attempts were just young men having fun.

courtesy: huffingtonpost.com

It shouldn't be glossed over that both incidents occurred during friendly matches and when one side sported a major advantage. While the UAE held a 6-2 scoreboard lead over their Arabic neighbours, Manchester City are the kind of talent-laden outfit the Los Angeles Galaxy can only imagine being. Both Awana and Balotelli, consciously or not, effectively taunted the opposition by saying "We are so far ahead of you that I can afford to do this". No malice, just a flat statement of fact delivered in a whimsical way. Is that such a bad thing?

Of course, it's not the "done thing". But the "done thing" isn't a hard and fast set of rules, just a vague unwritten law that one should not embarrass himself or his opposition with lackadaisical approach. Strictly speaking, these acts of flourish constitute taunting and unlike most American sports, there are no direct statutes against such mockery in football. The greatest difference between the two incidents was the context: the age of nationalistic and patriotic fervour in which we live means footballing whimsy is liable to misinterpretation much more in International competition.

courtesy: teamtalk.com

Management has every right to accuse him of seeking amusement before results, but likely Balotelli's greatest crime was to miss the shot. When West Ham's Paolo Di Canio goaled with his famous scissored volley against Wimbledon, his reasoning behind the method wasn't the best - and he has admitted so himself - but his execution was beyond the superlative. Levant's idiom declaims the line between genius and insanity a very fine one. Once he had (correctly) surmised the Citizens were the stronger team, "Super" Mario's thought processes were solely to entertain - though whether he sought to amuse the crowd or himself is questionable.

What is the purpose of football if not to entertain? Without this element, the sport negates itself and becomes the greatest waste of time and money this side of Formula One. While "Friendly" matches prepare and play sides into (or out of) form, they also serve to attract new fans, earn cash and broaden the appeal of the (sigh) brand. It's for these last reasons that Manchester City, Barcelona and Manchester United are touring the United States - for each could certainly could attract better or more varied opposition on home shores.

And Mario Balotelli's act - fun, irresponsible and immature as it was - is more likely to endear him (and therefore his club) to a new fan than to further undermine pre-existing opinions. Any awareness of the Balotelli back-story creates an opinion in the fan unlikely to be altered significantly by this latest act, but children will remember the crazy guy who tried to do a spin-a-roonie at the goalmouth. If City want to pick up youthful fans, they should ask Mario Balotelli to front the charge.

Strangely, in his own antagonistic and youthful way, Mario Balotelli has turned himself in the eyes of many from spoiled child to misunderstood. Apparently, Nigel de Jong and Roberto Mancini don't understand him. If that's the case we probably won't either.

Manchester Derby a Snore Fest

It was quite excitedly that I arrived at my local to watch Wednesday's Manchester Derby. For the first time in memory, I felt that United were perhaps the underdogs in a match that has perpetually been one of the centrepieces of the English Premier League season. Last year's contests - there were four of them - had three decided in added extra time.

So it was with disappointment that soon after kickoff I realised that this was a horrible match, devoid of excitement and totally lacking in energy and enterprise from the blue half of Manchester. Let's be honest and say that the Red Devils weren't much better - they showed more of an adventurous spirit but were lacking the final, decisive pass in the end. Sitting there, beer in hand, I couldn't help but think it was analogous to the early rounds of a boxing match: both teams were simply feeling the other out, not wanting to commit too much in case it left them overexposed.

Perhaps this is the way that Roberto Mancini & SAF looked at this match: early doors, not worth expending too much endeavour on. I'd suggest however that this approach represents what it is that Manchester City do. By employing three defensive midfielders at the expense of using only one player who can unlock a defense, it's obvious Mancini prizes stolidity above all else. Unfortunately it's also United's modus operandi at present, the Reds hampered by a lack of creativity from central midfield, theirs not so much by choice but by injury and terminal shortness of cash, by age and infirmity.

What else did we expect? More chances, sure, but did we expect that Mancini would change a setup that he's employed with good effect against other big teams? You can bet your bottom dollar that what you see is what you get with City. It's apparent that he'd rather draw taking no chances than lose giving it his best shot. With the red-nosed Scot he's had his hands tied by lack of funds, the disabled list and an ever-growing envy of the funds available to whoever the manager of the Citizens is this month. The stakes, for both sides, are now higher than ever. Instead of that producing the outstanding contests that it did last year, it's led us to this: a fear of failure.