Fernando Torres is not a time-traveller

I don't read much baseball - the odd seminal work like Moneyball, usually - but I make a habit of reading Lookout Landing, the SB Nation coverage for my local major league team, the Seattle Mariners.  Check it out - it's intelligent and funny stuff.

Hot on the topic of now ex-Mariner Chone Figgins trending on Twitter last week (after rumours of his long-impending demise proved true), the Landing's lead blogger Jeff Sullivan came up with the following statement to describe the serial underperformer:

I don't think 2009 Chone Figgins is ever coming back, because 2009 is one way in time and we go the other way and things that happened before often don't happen again. In sports, anyway. 

Does this remind you of anyone? It certainly did for me - so much so that even the dates match.

2009 harkens back to Fernando Torres' last season in his pomp at Liverpool and given the current state of affairs at Chelsea, Sullivan has once again proved remarkably prescient. Whether Roman Abramovich employed Rafa Benitez with the primary aim of helping Torres rediscover his form or simply because there are no more "names" available to him matters little; as Sullivan so rightly described  Figgins, Torres has been so out of form for so long that any last semblance the Fernando Torres of 2004-2009 has become only the fodder for pleasant Kop memories.

The player who once was Fernando Torres - the only man in England to give Nemanja Vidic nightmares - just doesn't exist any more.  He is an echo to a bygone age.

Three things: Chelsea may regret Lukaku absence

Three things we noticed from the EPL this week:

Chelsea might regret loaning out Romelu Lukaku

Romelu Lukaku arrived at Stamford Bridge before last season at a significant cost: a reported 18 million pounds from Belgian club Anderlecht. Barely eighteen when he arrived, the boy-mountain spent most of last season on the bench and hated it. Despite impressing on the Blues' pre-season US tour, Lukaku found himself “gaining first-team experience” at West Brom this year and the Blues look like they may regret his temporary departure. His spell in the Midlands has so far been telling.

The Blues pulled out a 1-0 win against an uncompromising Stoke City at home on Saturday where none of their myriad new tricksy attacking types were able to really trouble the brutally efficient Stoke defense. While this new look can produce some wonderful football, the Blues appear to be missing a second look.

If those short-ish types aren't firing in the goals then the club – like the team they've attempted to emulate, Barcelona – seems to lack offensive versatility. Barca had to pay heavily to get Zlatan Ibrahimovic, as Chelsea did for the talented Lukaku; it costs money for big, strong and skilled. Perhaps with their dearth of options, it's time to explore what Lukaku can create for the Stamford Bridge unit.

Arsenal are looking good

Despite needing a late goal from Laurent Koscielny to snatch a draw, the Gunners played impressively at the Etihad Stadium. Champions Manchester City were penned back time and again by a quality combination of youth and experience; indeed, they may not have scored themselves if not for a mistake by third-string goalkeeper Vito Mannone.

Lukas Podolski, while not scoring bagfuls, has been impressive while Gervinho, not new signing Olivier Giroud, may eventually be the cetnre-forward to replace Robin van Persie.

Key to this solid start has been the central defensive partnership of Per Mertesacker and Koscielny. Only weeks ago we were suggesting Mertesacker's greatest contribution may come as stability from the bench, but he's been the Premiership's outstanding centre-back throughout the first four games and the club hardly missed resident Belgian Thomas Vermaelen.

Aston Villa – relegation fodder?

Maybe Paul Lambert began drinking his own Kool-Aid, but the world's most boring man may have bitten off more than he could chew in Birmingham. Even though last weekend provided some encouraging signs, Aston Villa struggled mightily in their 4-1 defeat to the defensively-inept Southampton. This year, Lambert just doesn't have the talent to work with in order to avoid a relegation battle.

This season's reinforcements have mostly come from lower divisions, like Matthew Lowton who only months ago was playing in League One. Although they may end up becoming quality players, these lower-tier recruits have acclimatise to the Big Show. After shedding most of the high-earners from their wage bill, Villa appear shorn of quality all over the park – comparing their squad from now to five years ago is simply amazing.

Unless you're Roberto Martinez, you can't sell your best players each year and expect to maintain your Premiership status. Hang on – now their constant inquiries as to his availability suddenly makes more sense.

Torres' role reduced again for Spain

The man they miss with the man whose form they miss
courtesy: worldcupblog.org

Spain manager Vicente del Bosque opted to start yesterday's match against Italy with four defenders and six midfielders. Ostensibly, Cesc Fabregas started up front – and indeed found himself forward more often than his midfield counterparts and scored his country's goal.

 It's unlikely Fabregas will start as far forward of the ball for the entire tournament given that Italy's unusual 3-5-2 formation (with a libero!) contributed to Spain's unfamiliar team selection. But rather than shoehorn a poorly-fitting player into the side in the name of orthodoxy, del Bosque announced that Spain's gameplan doesn't require the prototypical “no. 9”. Also, by not deploying Torres in his favoured role, he also tacitly admitted that he views the Chelsea man as a player only to be used in the right circumstance.

 Bountiful Spanish midfield quality suggests a replacement for David Villa is a luxury rather than an immediate necessity. Were Spain only to create six shots a game, an penalty box predator would be crucial. But by employing the pass 'n' press, Spain can philosophically expect to dominate possession against every team they play; they are likely to create enough chances against harried defenders from which a midfielder like Fabregas, Iniesta or Silva can score.

 This is the form and model of play which has seen Spain win their past two major tournaments. It is also the model in which Fernando Torres now struggles heftily. While serving his country well at Euro 2008, and despite the greatest collection of providers any striker could want, Fernando Torres' confidence issues meant he couldn't play the same role in South Africa and still can't now.

 Torres' Chelsea form this season was fair, at best. He played better as Chelsea reverted to a counter-attacking side, but still patently can't find his strutting best.

 Because Spain so dominate the ball, del Bosque now sees Torres almost exclusively as a player whose best use is in exploiting overextended defences; a player to be brought on fresh for the last twenty minutes when the game naturally produces more chances. His form has regressed to the point where he's now only a player to be used in one situation, a luxury. According to Sid Lowe of The Guardian, del Bosque said as much in his post-match press conference.

 This is a story simply because of Torres' reputation; on form he deserves to be in the squad, but hardly a shoo-in for selection. Spain still have Fernando Llorente and Alvaro Negredo to use at centre-forward. However, without a more clinical edge in front of goal, Spain's goal of a third successive major tournament victory becomes more difficult.

Chelsea find themselves; win Champions League

Chelsea's win over Bayern Munich during Saturday's Champions League final is a triumph that only three months ago was utterly inconceivable.  The club was desperately short of form, many/most/all players had decided unilaterally that Andre Villas-Boas had no business coaching them and the team played with purposelessness rivalling beheaded chickens.

This is certainly due in part to Villas-Boas' methods and the uneasy conflict they created when combined with his remit: beautiful football, better results and a younger, growing team.  That the Portuguese manager attempted a root-and-branch reform in the back rooms of Cobham within months of arriving was certainly ambitious; with hindsight, it appears unfortunate and a little misguided

Chelsea's progress towards a high defensive line and a team composed of rapiers rather than broadswords created a definite schism in the playing staff.  Those players with bucketfuls of personality and credibility - Terry, Drogba, Cole, Cech and Lampard - were still key to this iteration of the team, both on- and off-field; yet the club's future identity was shifted instantly and without consult to a shot-happy Daniel Sturridge, the pitiable Fernando Torres and other youngsters.

This situation wasn't helped by player purchases made by club executives rather than by the man in charge of dictating the squad's sense of collective self, the manager.  Torres, Romelu Lukaku, Kevin de Bruyne, Thibault Courtois, Johnny Kills and Gary Cahill were all young, highly sought-after and supposedly übertalented superstars of the future.  Unfortunately they only exacerbated the personality crisis within the club: were Chelsea a young, fluid, passing team or a team of blunt but supereffective veterans?

Although game tactics were (probably) clear, the entire squad - by dint of confusing statements, puzzling purchases, genuinely odd team selections and an unfamiliar, unsuited gameplan - were a team without an overwhelming sense of purpose or identity.

Courtesy: Telegraph.co.uk

In sport, identity is important.  Not only does it provide a tactical map, but it also generates a sense of certainty in both management and playing staff which helps inherently on a psychological level.   Perhaps one of it's ultimate consequences is with player acquisition.  Rather than plugging in stars from other teams who may not fit the team's  psyche or tactics (a la Liverpool), they can bring in players suited best for their club (say, Blackpool or the latter-day Newcastle United).  A standout example can be taken from this year's promoted teams: after having played the same style in three divisions, Swansea City and Norwich City have succeeded by employing cheap, second- and third-tier players who fit their club's on- and off-field culture.

Since Roberto Di Matteo assumed control, he has created a sense of unity and identity lacking during Villas-Boas' reign.  Even though they finished one position lower in the league than they were when AVB was fired, this too helped: Chelsea became cup-focused and able to coalesce behind an "underdog" persona.  While this worked well against bogey-team Barcelona, it was taken to the n^th degree in Munich: talisman captain suspended, best defender suspended, two centre-backs recovering from injury, backups of questionable quality, key midfielder suspended ...  the pervading instability and queries over the quality of replacement (who'd have though Jose Boswinga and Gary Cahill would start the final only two months ago?) only contributed to a "we'll show 'em" mentality.

Chelsea absorbed tremendous amounts of pressure and then punished both Barca and Bayern when their limited opportunities came.  With some notable exceptions, the Blues have struggled since Mourinho's departure to find a common identity.  Saturday's result came as they found themselves after years of looking.

Alternative XI: Footballing Autofills

The fantastically funny Dave Gorman podcast features a segment called “Autofill your boots”. In it, a listener is invited to answer quiz questions which have been autofilled by Google's search engine algorithms.

It works like this: if you type the querulous words “Can you” into Google's query box, it suggest the next most likely conclusions to your request. These autofill answers are predicated by one's location and often by search preferences. As you can see below, the most popular completions in the case of “Can you” include “run it”, “feel the love tonight lyrics”, “freeze cheese”, “get mono twice”, “overdose on vitamin c” and “print from an ipad” amongst some other more unsavoury inquiries. Dave then asks the challenger if you can, in fact, contract mononucleosis twice.

 This parlour-game derives from Google's reputation alongside Wikipedia as the font of all knowledge, arbiter of all sexual health questions and the bane of pub trivia masters everywhere. When we enter certain football personalities into Google, the autofills can amuse, tell a sordid tale, sum up or even reveal a public concern for their (potential) religious views or sexuality.

So, without any further introduction, here's the Autofill Eleven – with subs included.

What do Chelsea and Dwight Howard have in common?

Wednesday provided the sporting consciousness with an almost – but not quite – final irresolution. Both the world's most public roundball sports suffered from the implacable inevitablity of more uncertainty.

In the NBA, the Orlando Magic's Dwight Howard opted into the final eighteen months of his contract, depriving the free-agent market of it's best big man since Shaquille O'Neal in 1996.

And Chelsea won in the Champions' League.

Initially, there may seem little to connect the two, but similarities soon emerge from the internet's murk. By committing to the Magic for one more season, Howard automatically keeps every hoops rumour-monger in cyberspace flush with “content” – and I use that word in the loosest possible terms – until he signs a long-term contract extension or departs in July 2013.

Who has enough space under the salary cap to keep him? Will a team trade for him without him committing to extend his contract past 2013? Does anyone still care?

Similarly, for their improbable 4-1 win against Napoli at Stamford Bridge on Wednesday evening, Chelsea should be congratulated. The unwelcome – by club and fan alike – result, however, is the fuel the club has unwittingly provided to football equivalent of Star magazine, the abominably-sourced Bleacher Report and other like sites, until the Blues' core players definitively leave the club.

Experts and know-alls-from-afar have penned myriad eulogies for Chelsea since the 2008 Champions' League final; sometimes this has been reasoned, other times speculation. Most recently, these have been the sum of the team's transfer policy moving towards youth amidst yet more nebulous and smoky “player power” reports. Already the Chelsea core has been shorn of two fringe elements, Anelka and Alex, while other veterans are publicised not necessarily for accomplishment but a lack thereof.

Common knowledge suggests disassembling a imperfect squad is prudent and inevitable if not overdue. In this case, the prevailing view may be as flawed as a Fernando Torres finish.

The fine Neapolitan win intimates they can still compete for what should now be known as Abramovich's Folly; the result of which appears to be that short-term savage transition from age to youth will be postponed until the next high-profile stumble. As long as Chelsea retain the so-called cabal, supposition will follow. A humbling defeat at the hands feet of Napoli would only accelerate that disintegration; now, fans are damned to read stories that should all begin with “I reckon”.

Apart from the Blues, who will now face Benfica in the quarter-finals, it seemsthe Perez Hiltons of the football blogosphere are this week's big winners.

In defence of Andre Villas-Boas

After overseeing two successive home losses for the first time in the Abramovich era, Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas has faced renewed speculation as to his future at Chelsea. Such talk is inevitable - I said, inevitable - thanks to his boss' propensity for firing managers. Expected, sure, and unfair given his short tenure, but is sack-talk even warranted?

Let's examine AVB's remit: to win - or at least compete - for the Premier League and Champions' League titles, replenish an ageing squad, get Fernando Torres firing, all the time playing attractive football. The season is about 100 days old; to expect all of the above to occur by now is quite obviously laughable.

What has the 34-year old done to warrant such attention? Presiding over three losses in four, OK, but the play behind those losses hasn't been horrible. To fire a manager on results rather than overall quality of play, while common, is a last-ditch move; Abramovich must have second, third and fourth-line plans rather than just nuking it all and starting over.

Villas-Boas has been tactically sound, if prone to an ambitiously high defensive line. The Blues assemble in a compact formation usually featuring Torres up front, ostensibly allowing incision from Juan Mata and width players Malouda and Sturridge. In keeping with the reinvigoration part of his mandate, offensive focus isn't on players nearly his own age (Drogba, Anelka and Lampard) but guys entering their prime.

Neither has the manager redefined roles - his men play where and when they perform best. Spectators haven't seen Lampard lying deep before the defence - he isn't suited to it and won't or can't play that position effectively. While spectacularly unsuited to a high defensive line, John Terry isn't being empowered to act as a Libero. So far, with only a few exceptions - and one notable inclusion - guys deserving it have played.

The Blues still score goals - over two per. Torres, while not the blistering El Nino of old, has regained his blonde locks, and with them a semblance of form. Mata looks to be one of the buys of the offseason, while it shouldn't take long to replace Jon Obi Mikel with Raul Meireles (even though it's harsh to blame the Nigerian for Maxi Rodriguez' goal on Sunday). The team is now much less stiff-legged than last year; an athleticism AVB hoped to take advantage of with a new game style.

In short, Chelsea haven't won more because his men have given away poor goals and, at times, failed to take advantage of fruitful situations. Suggested "fixes" for Villas-Boas and the Blues have focused on improving the defence, big-upping Mata and finally choosing between Torres and Drogba. This is only kind of true: the defence certainly needs addressing, but Mata by virtue of skill alone is becoming a featured player. Villas-Boas already has chosen Torres over Drogba - the cards are on the table - but now needs the dressing room's waning alpha-dogs to embrace change.

No-one's calling Terry and Lampard old dogs - well, nearly no-one - but it takes time for players to adapt to another, especially one which prioritises out-and-out speed over muscularity. Villas-Boas will be fine, as will Chelsea. The same can't be said for Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka.

Newcastle United: to survive or thrive?

Newcastle United has turned from second-tier basket case to Premier League overachiever in the space of two years. It is no doubt thanks to owner Mike Ashley, managers past and present (Chris Hughton and Alan Pardew) and perhaps most encouragingly, the skills and snout of chief scout Graham Carr.

Carr, the father of comic Alan Carr, has scoured France and allowed the club to bring in excellent players at cost-effective prices. The two key names secured upon return to the Premier League were Cheick Tiote and Hatem Ben-Arfa; they have since been joined by Sylvan Marveaux of Rennes and, perhaps most beneficially, France International midfielder Yohan Cabaye, late of Lille.

Courtesy: guardian.co.uk

While there are many Francophones now residing Tyneside, there's more than just that to the Newcastle French Connection. Newcastle's transfer dealings so imitated those of Ligue 1 club Lyon that Newcastle blogger Kris Heneage immortalized the link in this post two days ago. In it, he describes Lyon President Jean-Michel Aulas' planning behind a successful football club, business and pitch-wise.

The principles laid out are sound in theory, but would be difficult to implement in practice. But this isn't Ashley's - or Aulas' - problem, but that of their manager. The rules are business-smart and also give supporters consistency in expectation.  However, the points could doom a club into setting their own level, as if achievement is desirable, but merely a by-product.

Indeed, in many ways  - especially satisfying alleged "problem players" - Newcastle seem to have implemented these statutes more effectively than Olympique Lyonnais. The Toon Army sits in third place in the Premier League, but is still yet to play the Manchester twins, City and United, as well as Chelsea. It's probable that Tiote and Cabaye will have more illustrious suitors - Manchester United could maybe use them both - and the monies received for Andy Carroll make that deal look like a magnificent decision from the boardroom.

Does this platform work? As a league superpower - as Lyon are, but Newcastle aren't - unquestionably. It also helps if your city is a beautiful, luxuriant metropolis in the south of France. Can the same be said of the a chilly outpost in England's northeast?

It would stand to reason that every club obeys a subset of these rules. Every player, outside perhaps Lionel Messi, has his price. Cristiano Ronaldo's was 80 million pounds, Fernando Torres' about two-thirds of that. Sir Alex Ferguson could perhaps even get a bunch of rocks and $20 for Michael Carrick. Even when the money offered is silly; it would be idiotic to refuse it.

But basing a club's economy significantly on the sale of their best players - even when already possessing replacements - can make a club more fiscally secure in the short term, at least as long as the overall talent level is maintained.  Should the scouting fail or injuries hit - c.f. Wigan Athletic - the club could face an uphill battle to meet even modest expectation. From a mid-table side, the model also, however, fails to capture the imagination.  This inspiration is so important in sport, but now may become a thing of the past.  In many cases unbridled, fantastical hopes for one's team are now a thing for Football Manager games rather than reality.


Reducing a club's "achievement ceiling" means setting a level where they can expect to be consistent EPL performers barring unforeseen circumstances. This is what adept businesspeople do: control those circumstances under their control.  But if a club constantly loses their best talent, the best result they can expect is for a strong Cup run and top-ten finish.

Would supporters trade a good Cup run and, best-case, a Europa League campaign for the hopes that accompany retaining their best players?  Good question.  Certainly the pointy-heads in accounting would prefer this model; but fans' hopes are given an upper boundary - for better or worse.  Now re-born after a period in the Championship, NUFC supporters might be the best ones to answer this question: would they trade this new team of Cabaye, Marveaux, Tiote and Ben-Arfa for a golden age of Michael Owen, Mark Viduka and Alan Smith?  The full truth probably won't be evident until that time when (if?) these new Toon stars are enticed to pastures new.

Fernando Torres is back - maybe

When Fernando Torres stared down the open net and missed his second goal, even the hardened Manchester United fans felt for the man. Personally, as a dyed-in-the-wool United man who fears Chelsea's money and squad, I'm not sure I've ever felt more sympathy for an opposition player in a moment of struggle.

Certain sections of the Old Trafford stands jeered, but for a player who has tormented United while playing for their greatest rival and threatens to do likewise for another, the reception was hardly vitriolic. The enormity of such a one-off was obvious. The most outgoing commentators were left speechless.

After showing signs he was back to his best throughout - including a much-vaunted first goal since February - Fernando Torres' may have hit his lowest point for some time with his stunning with a freak miss.

His self-confidence has already been shaken - certainly his body language at Liverpool and at times for the Blues has been intermittently downtrodden. He has looked markedly better this term, buoyed by the freshness coming from a summer off and the Samson-like return of his blonde highlights and alice-band. Perhaps new teammates and coaching staff have paid dividends.

It was not a freak out, a brain-fart or choke, but one of those moments where something - anything - goes awry and a "given" becomes far less so. He - and Chelsea - deserved another goal as he began to look more and more the Torres of old, wending his way around and through United defenders. Looking at the replay again and again, he didn't pull out on the shot, lose balance or even have time to think.

courtesy: blogs.montrealgazette.com

Perhaps the greatest criticism that could be levelled at him for the miss was that he wasn't aware of just how much time he had, leading to a rushed shot. As any coach will tell you, when a player is five games into the season, results are less important than process - and the process he completed to get into scoring positions on Sunday was outstanding. Though Chelsea failed their first big test of the season, coach Villas-Boas has much to be encouraged about.

Unfortunately, Sunday's game will be remembered for his miss rather than his prior goal, or pace and wonderful shimmy around the stranded De Gea. We remember end results - spectacular or horrifying - which makes football the most highlight-friendly sport in the world. But such highlights tell only a modicum of the whole story.

Cheer up, Fernando Torres.

Fernando Torres will rediscover his form again. Some day. He's too good a player not to, really. But those happy times seem a long way away after yet another match in which he's failed to find the net. It's now eight straight goalless matches he's played for the Blues; more galling is that he's only registered one shot on target during his six EPL matches for Chelsea, one less than fellow new arrival David Luiz - a centre-back.

Even though he's (probably) earned a nice raise and has escaped the flotsam and jetsam that marked Roy Hodgson's Liverpool reign, Fernando Torres doesn't seem happy; in fact he seems about two more goalless games away from dressing all in black and breaking out the goth makeup.

You've got got dream move, Fernando, why so sad? Chelsea (more particularly owner Roman Abramovich) gambled that his Liverpool funk was a result of injury, perhaps burnout and displeasure at the club's circumstances only to have so far been proven wrong. Torres will rediscover his touch again but unfortunately, sometimes form slumps are difficult to break. Exhibit A: Wayne Rooney, only just regaining some of his best touch after a horrible twelve months.

We posited in November that Torres needed to get the swagger back into his game. Following his two sublime goals for the Reds against Chelsea, he was apparently back to his best but has failed to kick on and his body language remains poor. He's in a rough trot and knows it. From the outside, it seems Torres is being very hard on himself - opting often for negative, rather than positive reinforcement. When this happens, the joy of simply playing the game can be easily lost. Good morale promotes good performances - the reverse is also true.

Sometimes the only way to get back your groove is to convince yourself that it's already done - to walk out onto the pitch and play the part of the confident scorer. Such an attitude requires mental strength to maintain under adversity, but it is possible to assure yourself by believing good things will happen if you're in the right place at the right time. It's no substitute for real confidence, but a good breeding ground which can allow self-belief to grow. The first step in having others believe you're a threat is to believe the same thing of yourself. You can tell a lot about a player's self-confidence by the way they hold themselves.

Players who come to terms with their form (and situation) aren't usually players who swear at cameramen or moan about negative refereeing decisions. In a media climate in which players like Rooney, Terry and Torres reside, much of their publicity is bi-polar: news reports see them deified or crucified with almost no middle ground. With the spotlight on him, perhaps it's time for Fernando Torres to start believing what he should know is true - that he's possibly the best centre-forward in the world and, eventually, the goals will come - rather than what others report as true.

As he lines up for Chelsea against arch-enemies Manchester United on Wednesday, he'll look across the field to see direct opponents Nemanja Vidic and Chris Smalling. In the past, Vidic has been putty in his hands. Smalling remains three years removed from the Isthmian Premier League. For Chelsea and Fernando Torres, there will never be a better time to start believing.

Chelsea to scare United fans again

To go all nerd-alert on you, the Jedi code states that fear breeds hate. In football circles that's not quite right: it's one or more of success, arrogance or tactics which breed disdain. To expand a little, Manchester United is a love-or-hate proposition due to their combination of success and arrogance; Sam Allardyce's propensity for ugly football means he'sproductive but unpopular almost anywhere he goes and Kevin Muscat earned the title of "football's most hated" for mixing healthy doses of all three.

As a United fan, I've never really feared Liverpool. Fernando Torres definitely scared me - I'm sure Nemanja Vidic still can't sleep for the Anfield horrors the Spaniard regularly inflicted on him - and am glad he's gone. I don't despise Liverpool's past successes because during my football-following lifetime, any title or cup wins haven't come at United's expense. Any ill-feeling I bear towards the Scouse nation is due to my perception of their fans arrogance; but as a Red Devil supporter I'm also hardly above blame in this department. Although I admit to the rivalry between Arsenal and United and envy the North Londoners' ability to attract top youth prospects, I don't fear them either - how could you be frightened of a team whose enforcer is probably the mad Teutonic goalkeeper they just re-employed?

However, I fear Chelsea. Since I started the topsy-turvy life of a serious football follower early this century, almost everything about them has irritated me beyond all reason. This ire isn't the result of one factor but of many: billions of readily available roubles; nouveau riche fan attitudes; the existence of Dennis Wise and John Terry; other players whose attitude/talent combination elicits just the right amount of bile like Drogba, Anelka and Torres; and tactically astute managers (probably except Avram Grant). Finally - and most importantly - Chelsea are a team accustomed to beating Man U. Only their three League titles and four FA Cups since the millennium can compare with United's haul. For relatively recent fans of the league, the big rivalry isn't Red vs. Red Devil - it's now Blue vs. Red Devil.

And this is what makes the Champions' League Quarter-Finals so enticing and nerve-wracking. These two teams will play in a replay of the 2008 UCL final, an event made more delicious for victorious Red Devil fans when the deciding penalty was missed by John Terry. To make one of the best days ever even better, he then cried on the pitch. Though '99 was special, this was every United fan's decade-long dream. Since that day, Chelsea have proved stronger in most encounters as if jointly motivated and repelled by the failure in Moscow. Both teams don't sport vintage line-ups this year, but battle will commence again.

And it will be a frighteningly watchable spectacle.

Inevitability = Mid-Season Transfer Deadline

It's the proliferation of owners crying poor that make this year's transfer deadline yet another sign, in the immortal and notorious words of disgraced presenter Richard Keys, that the football "world's gone mad". According to ESPN Soccernet, English clubs spent a combined 214 million pounds this January, more than seven times what was expended at the same time last year. Chelsea sunk a reported £45 million into Liverpool striker Fernando Torres; which the Merseysiders then re-invested into a pair of front-men: 22 year-old Newcastle leviathan Andy Carroll, who's presently injured, and Ajax Amsterdam's Uruguayan World Cup supervillain Luis Suarez. Abramovich's deep pockets also reportedly funded the transfer of Benfica's ball-playing centre back David Luiz for 21 million.

The greatest feeling on transfer deadline day wasn't a sense of opportunity, though Chelsea and Liverpool fans probably disagree there. The sense was probably more one of resignation for clubs losing impact players. With the obscene amounts of money bandied about there was little to no question that any of those ballpark bids would be rejected out of hand - the risk in selling is much less than the risk of keeping. Unless the player is one fo the top five in the world (ie. Messi, C. Ronaldo, Iniesta, Xavi etc), when initial gambits are north of £20 million mark, any refusal to sell isn't met with an outright "No" but a valuation of their player based on everything working in their favour: "We know he's worth 35 million at least", conveniently forgetting that player is any/all of inconsistent, injured, demotivated, undergoing criminal proceedings or a bad influence in the locker room. This allows a manager to transmit that they aren't really interested in selling, but also also provides the bidding club with more information. If they then choose to return with a figure approaching that speculation, then perhaps business can be done. Every player has his price.

Also adding to the sense of inevitability was that so many of the stars rumoured to be market items handed in transfer requests. With the sums of money suggested for all of the deals above - including Blackpool captain and virtuoso puppeteer Charlie Adam - once a bidding team's interst has been registered both with the club and player, they then begin agitating - publicly or privately - for a move whether for the increased club stature, better competition, a hefty chunk of extra cash in their pay packet or perhaps finally for a possible/probable 10% cut of a multi-million pound/euro transfer fee. That desire to leave is reflected in the number of transfer requests we've seen this period: of all the big-name players rumoured to change teams during January, all handed in official requests to be transferred except Luiz. This can work both for and against a selling club as it can partially mollify any fan anger at management sabotaging their ambition by selling their most important players. With Andy Carroll's 35 million pound move from Newcastle United to Liverpool, popular opinion has the Tyneside club's ownership saying there was such a request simply to pacify a vocal and thoroughly irked supporter group, rather than because Carroll actually wanted to leave.

Selling clubs can both appreciate and fear this time as needy teams pay vastly overinflated prices. However by selling late - and not having control over when unknockbackable bids are registered - they find themselves in a dichotomy that by selling those players so late it robs them of the chance to replace them with more reasonably priced alternatives. Cue more fan anger and a rapidly worsening vicious circle.

Another inevitability was the involvement of Liverpool in three of the largest deals of the period. Unsurprising as they've been horrible this year and their marquee guy, Fernando Torres, has looked more and more disheartened. Like a snakeskin, Torres has only resembled the killer he was in prior Premiership seasons as his last eighteen months has been destroyed by injury and poor form. When healthy he gives the league's best Centre-Half (Vidic) fits the like of no other, but has been neither healthy or invested and looked as if he felt it was time do like the Beatles and leave Merseyside before the stank becomes difficult to remove. Once his head was turned by Chelsea last week, a deal was indomitable. Luis Suarez joining the Reds was always likely but became nailed-on when Torres started flashing his big blues at London's Russian quarter, but the Carroll bid came from left field and may well be the single biggest splash for the month.

Carroll, a Northeast local, is emblematic of the tariff placed on all English players. While the fees this window have been striking, the money that's been demanded for British talent, proven or unproven has exceeded all previous precedents. If, as most right-thinkers believe, Fernando Torres is one of the League's top three forwards - and probably the best - based on results, then Villa and Liverpool are suggesting that their new purchases: Bent, Suarez and Carroll are worth respectively 55%, 50% and 78% of Torres's value. And Bent's record in consistently banging in eighteen-goals-per-year justifies this; Carroll's worth comes down to his undisputed potential. A young man whose raw physique and rare combination of abilities (imposing aerial abilities, gut-running and instinctive ball-skills) have helped him score eleven times in his nineteen Premiership starts this year. His value to the Reds is in being able to recreate some of the successful lineups that the Anfield club ran with during the 1980s - a little and large show, with Suarez playing off the gargantuan ex-Magpie's grunt-work. If he only has to be three-quarters of Torres as a player, Liverpool have made the correct investment.

Money talks much louder than a manager's press conference, perhaps even more so than a manager on the sidelines. When he agreed to join Liverpool, Carroll became the seventh most expensive signing of all time (which was then surpassed by Torres) and the two joined the 35 million club alongside Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka, Zidane, Crespo, Figo and Ibrahimovic; each a great of the game. The fee - a record for an Englishman - was sure to get Kenny Dalglish's objectives accomplished.

Again, once the sums of money became too great to ignore, Newcastle's hand was forced in Carroll's record move, the sums too much for owner Mike Ashley to resist. With only last year's powerful Championship season and an excellent August-November period to back up that huge wodge of cash, it was inevitable (I said: inevitable) that the Tyneside Hulk would leave. The World's Most Unpopular Football Manager - and he has some pretty stiff competition - Mike Ashley is looking for any returns on his initial investment and as such felt the need to pocket the 35 million and risk another spell in English football's second tier. As soon as fees over 20 million were mooted, it was certain in the minds of Toon supporters that their man would be leaving the club whether he wanted to or not. It's assumed he will free up only a little of the monies received to buy new talent, especially replacements as the Magpies are now left to hunt for goals with the uninspiring trio of Ameobi, Best and Lovenkrands, almost exactly the lineup which saw them relegated two years ago.

Carroll's preference is unknown at this time and most assume he wasn't angling for the move, but with the Reds dangling a 167% wage increase in front of him and the chance to join the an elite list of 35 million-plus players (and the percentage of that fee he may have received as part of the deal). As certain as it was that Ashley would sell, also sure was how the Toon Army would react - calling for Ashley's head on a platter. Their anger is directed at ownership with reason - selling one of their own perhaps without reinvestment - but surely they must understand the principles of buy low, sell high and that these prices may never be repeated? There is every chance that Carroll could flop and to be known as the guys who turned down 35 million only to then sell for 4 million (link to Sunderland/Bent story) would be undesired in the extreme. The fans have every right to be disappointed - especially in the timing and paucity of Carroll replacements - but should forget they managed to secure one of the bargains of the transfer window, picking up Stephen Ireland from Villa on loan for a song. Not a like-for-like replacement, the bald one may well provide a creativity that those noted creation-shy types like Lovenkrands and Ameobi need to flourish.

It was inevitable given UEFA's Financial Fair Play rules that this could be the last big splurge of some serial offenders like Chelsea. But perhaps the best way to sum up the craziness of the mid-season transfer window goes to Darren who posted on Soccernet: "Mesut Ozil + Sami Khedira + Rafael Van der Vaart + Javier Hernandez = Andy Carroll".

Fernando Torres is the new Chili Palmer

Watching a bit of Liverpool's weekend over Chelsea, I - like most - was taken by the form of the Reds' Spanish tyro Fernando Torres. After a mediocre time of it recently (except when playing Nemanja Vidic) dating back to an injury-plagued 2009-10 and poor World Cup, he spun startlingly back into form against the League Leaders with a magical performance.

Both his goals weren't from the top drawer, they were from on top of the dresser. His second should win the Premiership's "Goal of the Month" award after he wrong-footed a backpedalling Branislav Ivanovic and curling a wicked shot into Petr Cech's far-post side netting. His first was great as well, slicing into the box and leaving three-fifths of the most high-profile defence in the world in his wake (Cech, Ashley Cole & John Terry) before smashing the ball past the sliding goalkeeper.

And it struck me: Fernando Torres has possibly the most obvious body language in World Football today, an award he shares with "The Varnished One" Cristiano Ronaldo. When both of these players are feeling good in themselves and performing confidence and attitude simply oozes from them: you can read that confidence in the way they walk, run, in their first touch and in their passing. You can read it in the way they get to the right positions. It's especially evident when they score.

That's not to say that when down on form Torres (or indeed Ronaldo) lacks the same speed, touch or finishing ability, far from it. What I am saying is that he's easy to read. During the World Cup, a lot of criticism was aimed at "El Nino" for his lacklustre performances in a Spain team which occasionally couldn't convert it's possession into leads. His head wasn't completely right and it was obvious. He was frustrated both by his lack of form, some rough treatment from defenders and by his body's inability to answer the call. This term it's been much the same: rounded shoulders, head down, still blessed with that one-in-a-million combination of pace and skill but seemingly ill at ease.

One of my favourite movies is "Get Shorty". At one point in the movie, debt-collector Chili Palmer (John Travolta) is trying to teach an actor how to look straight into a man's innermost soul and create fear, fear which makes them do whatever you want. He says: "I look straight at them and what I'm thinking is I own you. What I'm not doing is feeling anything about it". Rent the movie, watch that scene and tell me that's not the perfect attitude to have when playing sport. Good athletes - be they from any sport, always have this confidence, this arrogance which allows them the belief to do whatever is needed to win. Torres had this look on Sunday - he knew he owned Terry & Alex. He believed it. It showed in the way he carried himself.

The difference when comparing his previous Premier League performances to Sunday's is stark and doesn't bode well for his coming opponents. The confidence, the swagger, the 'tude is back. A player of his class doesn't magically "rediscover" form only to lose it again the next week, it just doesn't happen. In all likelihood his outstanding game during a win that Liverpool FC so desperately needed could be just the thing he needs to kick start his year. It's an ominous time for the rest of the league.